Behind His Smile ( Boys From Hell #4)

10.

| Mia |

I wasn't normal.

I had abnormal tendencies.

For instance, I felt at peace. . .at a graveyard.

There was just something about this place that put my mind and my soul at peace. I had humans all around me. Buried . Listening to my footsteps. My breathing. My words.

I was sitting beside my father's grave. A thin tendril of the plant was  curled around the tombstone . The statue of an Angel erected behind my father's grave had its eyes shut as if in deep thought.

It's index finger raised in warning.

It's wings dropping down as if it Just landed on earth.

I . . .had to come here every week .

It was like my therapy session hosted by my dad. Where I could spill everything without the feeling of being judged or something . It sounded mad but deep in my heart, I knew he was listening.

And the strange thing was I never cried.

I just. .talked.

Like I normally used to do. As if he's sitting on the couch and listening to me babble away about all the bitches at my school.

Yeah , I talked about everything under the sky. I didn't wanna cry.

"—and Mrs Folsom had to be the worst of them all. I swear she is Mcgonagall incarnate!! You should see her , Dad! I hope you scare her in the next world when her soul passes into the underworld or whatever. " I rolled my eyes.

Birds chirped somewhere on the tree.

"I wanted to buy some flowers but," I sighed softly ," I can't afford it right now but no worries. I brought something for ya." I said while patting my jean's pocket and yes! I felt the wilted fat rose that was slowly dying .

Bringing it out, I placed the rose on top of  the grave. .

"There." I smiled happily and then . .I glanced at the tombstone and saw my words etched on it.

The smile on my face fell away. .as if it was never there.

Seeing the words I wrote. .it teared me up.

"Dad, you do know that if I had the chance I would give up my life for you right? I would exchange my life for yours. I would—," I bit my lower lip hard.

Shit. I was about to cry.

My vision turned blurry and hastily I took off my glasses and wiped the stupid tears away fiercely.

But once the dam breaks, there is no way you can stop it.

The tears ran down freely.

My nose felt full and I gulped in lung full of air but it didn't help either. The tears kept on slipping down. .

"I'm sorry." I whispered. " It's just— sometimes I can't help but wonder . .why me, dad? Why us? I see Gloria's dad and I feel my heart crack—," I placed my hand on my chest as if it would calm my burning heart. "And it's so hard to act like it's not affecting me. It so hard to act like I'm okay when I'm not. It's been five years . I should— should get over it. Heal but it still feels like yesterday. .," I gulped the ball of tears in my throat ," Dad, they think I'm a strong person when—i am not. I feel so much. .so much."

May be for the first time in ages , I poured my heart out.

Through tears.

I wept like I had never before.