One Look

Chapter 35

That evening I realised how urgently I needed to speak with Nathaniel, I was afraid that if we left it too long then we would just go on as if nothing happened. We would just fall into the safety net that is our friendship. I realised now that I didn't want the safety that our friendship brought, I wanted something more. Sneaking glances at him during dinner was not enough. I wanted to be seated with him and make comments about the food and the people. I wanted to playfully tease him about how he made too much eye contact with his food and spent way too long chewing one piece.

During dinner the other debutantes would not stop staring at the new prince. There had been discussion about Philips soon rise to the throne and that a new bride of his would be a queen in a much swifter time frame than if they were to marry Nathaniel. Even I joined in the discussion of imagining a life in Spain. It had been surprisingly fun talking about an imaginary future, but I had noted that Ruth said nothing during dinner. I guessed that she would more than likely go back and report what she had heard to Nathaniel. That was another reason why I needed to speak with Nathaniel, so I could make a joke of the conversation and let him know there was not an ounce of seriousness behind it. Well maybe half an ounce.

As I rounded the bend coming up to the royal quarters I walked straight into a hard body. I shook my head and stepped back. My eyes focused on the Spanish prince. I threw in a quick curtsy and mumbled an apology.

"You... um... look familiar", he said, waving his hand around when he thought of the right words.

"I do?" I asked, eyes wide. "Oh wait. I think I remember... few years back, the maze". I scratched my head as if I was trying to think. When in reality the kiss we shared replayed in my head almost every night for a year after it had happened. I had once wished he would find his way back to me.

"Si", he gasped, and nodded his head. "The pretty golden-haired girl I fell in love with one summer". He chuckled and I couldn't help but smile. Damn his charming behind.

"The Spanish prince who let me kiss him in the maze", I giggled.

"It was a privilege", he winked, and I couldn't help the blush that spread across my cheeks.

"How have you been?" I asked.

"I have been good. It is nice being back, but everyone has grown so much since I was last here".

"You have changed a lot since I last seen you".

"How so?" There was no mistaking the mischievous glint in his eye as he awaited my response.

"You've umm got taller and more", I tilted my head, "more stronger looking". He laughed at my answer.

"I believe you have become even more beautiful, but you have not got much taller".

"That is true", I giggled. I caught sight of Oscar walking towards us. "Hello, your highness", I curtsied, as he joined are discussion.

"Do you mind if I steal Lady Thompson for a moment?" he asked prince Philip.

"Of course. I will see you tomorrow", he said to me before he left us alone.

"Eloise, I haven't got the chance to speak to you since the ball, your ladies said you were unwell", Oscar said, and I smiled guiltily at him.

"Yeah I was a little under the weather, I may have caught your cold", I said quickly. He gave me a knowing look before he took my elbow and lead me to a nearby window. His furrowed brow was the only indication that lead me to believe he was worried about something.

"We have to talk to Nathaniel", he said quickly.

"About what?" I asked, with narrowed eyes.

"You know what", he snapped, and quickly looked up and down the corridor. "Eloise the duke threatened you, and I believe that is bad, like really bad. My father never liked him, but he has always kept him close. Easier to have someone you don't trust on your side so you can keep an eye on them".

"It was just a warning Oscar", I sighed. In truth I had spent many sleepless nights thinking over his words. Afraid of every creak on my floorboards and every darkened corner of the corridors.

"A warning you won't listen to", he hissed.

"I have listened to it".

"But for how long Eloise? How long until you want to find out more? I know you, and so I know you won't just idly sit by and let a secret go undiscovered", he sighed, and rubbed his hands through his hair.

"I'll just be more careful next time", I shrugged. He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut.

"We need to talk to Nathaniel about this", he whispered.

"No. There is no reason that we need to tell him".

"No reason not to either".

"He'll just worry unnecessarily, and he has lots of other matters to think about right now. Don't make me regret telling you", I snapped. I turned my back and walked away form him. "Do not tell him", I called over my shoulder.

"I am going to", he called back. I turned around so quickly but he was already walking quickly up the corridor, towards Nathaniel's chambers. I ran after him, but I was too late as he reached the door before me and had already told the guards to let Nathaniel know that he wanted to speak with him.

"You are dead", I hissed under my breath.

"Better me than you. Which is what is going to happen if we don't tell Nathaniel", he said. The door swung open and Nathaniel nodded his head at us.

"Please tell me this is not about some other stupid challenge that the two of you came up with", he warned, as he stepped aside to let us enter his chambers.

"It is", I said quickly, and Oscar glared at me. "It's who can come up with the best lie. I'll go first".

"Please I don't care" Nathaniel sighed. "I am busy right now". He rubbed his neck in frustration. I glanced around and gave him a confused look.

"With what?" I asked.

"Oh, is there a lady in your room?" Oscar asked wiggling his eyebrows.

"What?" Nathaniel said confused. "No there is not".

"It's okay I am sure Eloise wouldn't mind", Oscar grinned. I kicked him in the shin. Hard.

"Can the two of you take your childish behaviour somewhere else?" Nathaniel snapped.

"What's got you in a mood?" I asked, sudden annoyance rising inside me.

"Please leave". He let out a deep breath.

Oscar rolled his eyes but left anyway, I hovered by the doorway unsure whether to go or not. Nathaniel looked at me before he turned back to his desk. With one last moment of hesitation I walked towards him. He said nothing as I made my way to stand behind him. He said nothing when I placed my hands on his shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze. He said nothing when I turned around to leave.

"Wait", he said so softly, as I was about to walk away. I stopped in my tracks and waited. "I'm sorry I snapped at you; it has just been a weird day".

"It's okay, I'll leave you alone now".

"Don't go. Stay. Stay for a little while", he said and stood up from his desk.

"What were you doing?" I asked, nodding my head towards the pile of sheets on the table. Many of them scribbled on and scrunched up.

"Deciding which ladies, I want to stay on", he said, and I felt my stomach clench.

"Oh", I breathed. "Any ideas?"

"I actually need to talk to you", he said, and I felt my heart contract. I wasn't ready for this conversation yet. I looked towards the door.

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