One Look

Chapter 39

"I am just so proud to be your father", William smiled as he looked down at me, his eyes had started to water. I was dressed, ready for the ball. For the main event. The night we had all been waiting for, the night Nathaniel chose which ladies he would be courting.

"Don't start crying", I giggled. He placed his hands on my shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze.

"Your mother would be so proud of you, you know that? Your beauty, your grace. She would be amazed with how fine a lady you turned out to be".

"Are you saying that there was no hope for me at one point?" I gasped, my lips holding back a smile.

"Well to put it nicely, you were a child that could not sit still. Always getting into trouble".

"Who's to say I'm still not getting into trouble", I shrugged, and my father shook his head quickly.

"It is best you do not tell me the trouble you get into anymore, so I can imagine that my role of a father was successful. That I raised a quiet, timid girl". The look on his face, made me burst into a fit of giggles. It seemed we both knew I was neither of those things.

"Did you get into trouble much as a child?" I asked my father. His childhood was not something he talked about much. He was a man that did not like to dwell on the past. He always said that the past has already been lived in. That all we needed to focus on was today before it becomes something else that we have no way of changing.

"No, I was too placid to get into trouble. I had a fear of breaking the rules", he chuckled softly. He sat down in his chair and took a sip of his now cool tea. "It is from your mother, your wild spirit".

"Mother and I didn't see eye to eye much before she passed", I said tentatively, afraid he would change the subject of our conversation. He must have sensed I needed to talk though, because his usual subject change did not come about.

"That is because you reminded her so much of herself. She was terrified for you", he whispered, I stared at him to continue. "Your mother always landed herself in trouble, and not the good kind. She was afraid that you would end up the same way".

"What?" I asked confused.

"Always looking over your shoulder. Afraid that you had gone too far". He blinked then, the fearful look in his eyes gone. "Anyway, I cannot believe that my little girl is all grown. I still remember the days that you and Patrick would come tumbling into my study, dragging me out for yet another play you both had put together. Of course, you were always the hero, while poor Patrick was the damsel in distress".

"That's what little brothers are for", I laughed. My father joined in too. Our laughter echoed of the stone walls in my seating area. "Do you ever wish you had a brother?" I asked. My mind flashing to images of the duke of Kensington.

"Growing up an only child was definitely lonely. But at least I never had to feel like I needed to compete with anyone. I could be whoever I wanted, and my parents could never threaten to give the house to a younger brother", he chuckled gently. I studied the dying embers of the fire, as I tried to imagine telling my father that he actually had a brother. And an older one at that. I realised though that that was not my story to tell. That was between him and his mother.

"Yeah, I always wanted a younger sister, but I am glad now that I do not. Imagine she had of been more beautiful than me, with the manners and posture to go with it", I gasped. My father shook his head at me, a stupid smile on his face.

"Have you caught the eye of any handsome suitors yet?" my father asked. "I heard rumours that you are in a courtship". My eyes widened. Charles. I had not spoken to him a few days.