- Stray Kids Imagines -

Wish I Were | Kim Seungmin

Wish I Were | Kim Seungmin

✎ Genre : High School Student AU, Angst, Fluff

✎ Pairings : Kim Seungmin X Reader

✎ Word Count : 1.1k words

✎ Synopsis : Winter has already passed, yet Seungmin is getting colder and colder as time flies by.

✎ Warnings : Explicit Language

✎. . . Another angsty imagine but a song inspired one. It's been a while since I wrote a very short imagine. Btw, the whole imagine is in Seungmin's Point of View. Enjoy my loves, mwah. <3

———

Kim Seungmin.

Save the date, 3rd of December. Where in the middle of a snowfall, sunshine appeared out of the blue. The time I was saved from the inner demons haunting me, from the bothering cold of winter. The time I never thought would come to the point that I lost care for myself.

With a small yet simple gesture, I was saved. She came just in time and the best part of her rescue was probably her giving me her soft light-tinted blue sweater. " It looks better on you than it did on me, Seungminnie, " She giggled as we sat in front of her fireplace, my cup of coffee laid unfinished on the table. Her arms around my waist while I lay my head down on her shoulder. All the warmth I received on that day was completely comfortable. From the fireplace, the hot coffee she offered, her sweater and her care and love. I couldn't ask for more than that to feel enough.

With a small yet simple gesture, I couldn't help but fall.

———

Fall.. In Love?

Just another new start allotted for this school year happened on this very day. Months had already passed ever since me and Yuri met. Right now, it's just me and her having a wonderful conversation. Her beautiful smile appeared once in a while with a small chuckle as we continued to just pass some time before class started.

" No way, this happened when you hit the baseball with your bat? You're that strong? " Her eyes twinkled as I showed her the picture my friend, Bang Chan, posted on Instagram. I responded with a nod and a hum, smiling.

" It looks like teeth marks at first glance, " Both of us giggled in unison while I tucked my phone back in my pockets. " But hey, that's really an impressive strength. You'll be in my speed dial in case I want you to kick some asses for me. "

Then there was a short silent pause in the area as the main doors opened. I took a glance towards it to figure out what caused such distraction from multiple individuals. And I must say or rather I could tell it already, he's definitely gonna be the elephant in the room.

His face defines ethereal, perfectly sculpted by the Gods to the point that they placed a star beneath his eye. He was indeed shining, everyone blinded by his beauty.

What broke my heart was when I took a glance back at you, you were one of them. I saw your eyes sparkling, filled with adoration towards the newcomer. You couldn't look away, trapped into his spell as he walked towards us. He caught your attention and you couldn't help but fawn over him more. What a sight for sore eyes.

I slowly distanced myself away when he was now onto you, both of you sharing smiles brighter than the blue sky and exchanging a few words. You're too lost in his eyes to notice my presence vanishing from your area, too lost in love while I'm starting to lose love itself. You never looked at me the same way as you did to him.

With one last glance, I witnessed how you got him so mesmerized before I die.

———

Or Fall.. Apart?

Back in place, like it was the start of winter once again. The time I was emotionally and mentally going downhill. But the difference is that it's far from almost winter, the sun shines too bright these days and I hate it.

Messages

💟 : Hey, can't meet you up today

💟 : I promised Hyunjin I would go with him, sorry

It's okay. : KSM

Go and have fun with your man. :) : KSM

Read – 5:03PM

Closing the door, I leaned my head back on it before silently letting my body fall onto the ground with the phone in hand, the picture of the two of us showing in the lock screen. I knew that behind me, behind this door stood Hyunjin and you having the greatest time of your lives. Exchanging words, smiles, and laughter with one another.

The scene I saw a few moments ago played. I walked into the rooftop, supposedly to be looking for you – which I did but never thought of it to be something like this. I watched you two there standing before the golden sun setting in the horizon then he held your hand. You, too, gave one of your sweaters to him. Putting his arms around your shoulder afterwards when you two took a seat on the ground, your head resting on his chest as you both took in the scenery.

I wanted to hate him so much, for he took away my chances of even having the confidence to confront you and confess my feelings towards you, ruining all of my plans to have the greatest life I've ever had in my grasp. Although as much as I wanted to, I just couldn't bring myself to do so. Hyunjin-hyung never treated you or anyone else badly, being the angel that he is. He's also true to his feelings, I overheard it from a conversation he had with Minho that he likes you, the same way you like him. However, I did prefer him not existing at all – thinking that maybe it would go the way I wanted it to be if he was never there.

In the end, I'll only get colder and colder to the point that my heart will freeze, slowly distancing myself away from you. While you're looking beyond exquisite than ever with a smile brighter than the sun, twinkling stars adorning your eyes and the pinkness of your cheeks – all of it was because of Hwang Hyunjin. Just for the sake of your eternal happiness, I have to disenthrall you.

———

Laying down alone on the bed, in the middle of my gloomy bedroom, drowning in my own pool of thoughts. Wearing the light-tinted blue sweater to feel the warmth back in the 3rd of December that I always loved, but I knew it would never be the same as before. Today, she wouldn't be able to save me. This would've been the aftermath back then.

Eyes red plus the visible dark bags underneath it came all from excessive crying and insomnia. Body tired like hell. Lost my appetite. Pale skin and dry lips. Too many emotions mixed up in my heavy chest. My mind screaming and yelling in agony yet none of it was heard since I lost my own voice as well. All in all, I feel like shit.

Beside me laid my journal, the messed up pages filled with black ink shown. The words " Wish I Were Hyunjin " were mindlessly written on the pages, repeatedly scattered.

Why would you ever kiss me?

I'm not even half as pretty

You gave him your sweater

It's just polyester

But you like him better

Wish I were...

Breaking the silence, a knock on the wooden door was heard out of the blue.

***