The break up effect

Chapter 10: Pain and all it's friends

Sheldon lied awake after his alarm went off and he was staring at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep well again and it was starting to disrupt his sleeping schedule as now he was always tired.

He looked at the door that was closed and remembered when he said he loved Amy for the first time outside his room. The look on her face was the exact look he had when he realised that he loved her and was capable of love. She was beautiful in that aqua blue dress and the little matching cardigan that went with it.

He really thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She had this fascinating brain that was so smart and she was so kind with him. She was always patient with him and didn't pressure him into anything he didn't want to do. She was gorgeous to and alot of the time he didn't know what he done to deserve someone like her. It was like all he saw was black and white but with her he saw colour. He didn't want to go back to black and white.

He thanked Rajesh and Howard everyday for finding him someone he didn't even know he needed. All he wanted to do was be around her and spend every minute with her. Now he was still staring at the ceiling but he was seeing black and white again and his heart ached. It wasn't going to be for long though,today was 'Fun with Flags' and she had to be there to help right ? It gave him an excuse to talk to her right?

He finally got up and got dressed and was excited for the day. He wanted to see her face again and talk to her again. He decided to face time her and waited for her to pick up.She eventually picked up and he listened to her ramble on but he wasn't going to let that stop him from getting her back.

She wasn't going to help with the 'Fun with Flags' anymore. So they weren't even going to try to be friends which hurt him. How can she be so okay with not seeing him.If she loved him as much as he loved her then she wouldn't be able to do this and she wouldn't be able to live without him. So did she really love him ? She didn't even want to see him. Did he do something so terrible. Was it just hopeless?

He was angry,devastated and felt like someone pushed the knife deeper in his chest now. How was it possible to still love someone who hurt you so much? This was all his fault and he was so disappointed in himself. He wanted to scream and cry. He wanted to punch something.

There by the kitchen table was where they had so many teas together and remembered the time he called her a vixen,her cheeks turned a little red. Sheldon couldn't stop smiling and thinking what else would make her go even more red.

There by the couch where they decided to build a fort like little kids,she accepted his childish side and played along to. They built this beautiful fort and they had so much fun. She even stayed over for the night. He let her sleep on the couch and he took the mattress on the floor. He actually wanted the couch but he heard it was common decency to give the woman the better place and he loved her enough to be selfless about it.

She was now facing him but she was fast asleep and Sheldon wondered why he didn't have her sleeping over here sooner. She looked so peaceful and beautiful,he could stare at her forever. He kissed her lightly on the forehead trying not to wake her up and he tucked a little strand of her hair behind her ear. He bent down just a little bit to her ear and whispered so softly after making sure she was asleep,"I love you,Amy Farrah Fowler".

He didn't want to wake her as she was sleeping so peacefully but he wanted her to know that and not forget it. He went back to bed and slept. He didn't sleep so well ,as he could feel the hard ground under the mattress but he didn't mind if she was comfortable. He was so selfish about everything but when it came to her,he would give her everything he had.

He decided to pack all the things that reminded him of the relationship,all the memories that was there. He put in the scarf,comic book,her tiara and his purple shirt he wore when she broke up with him. He didn't want anything to remind him of her incase they wouldn't get back together. He opened the draw where he kept all of Amy's things that she left there or little things that happened during their relationship. He never saw a need for it because he had an eidetic memory but she wanted it.