The break up effect

Chapter 7: The worst feeling is regret

Amy came home and thought to herself that wasn't to bad. It was actually nice. It was better than the last 2 and she felt a bit better about it this time but not completely better though.

He seemed pretty nice and he wasn't to bad to have for company. She got dressed into her nightgown and got ready for bed wondering if she was going to  fall asleep tonight.

She was up for a couple of hours and she didn't know the toll it would take on her to go back into the dating world. She forgot what it was like to date again. She forgot how nerve wracking it is. Eventually her eyes started becoming heavy and she fell asleep.
______________________________________

Somewhere through the late morning, Bernadette gave her a call asking if Penny and her wanted to hang out at her house. Amy had some errands to run so she was going to  be a bit late but she agreed.

She hasn't told Penny and Bernie about her going on dates yet. She didn't want to make it more confusing,her emotions are all over the place and she didn't know where to start when trying to make everything feel better and move on.

Of course she would tell them eventually but just not now. She felt bad but it was just something she needed to do. She ran all the errands she needed and did some paperwork for work so she can start a new research project which would keep her occupied for the next couple of weeks . She headed to Bernie's place and was greeted by Penny who arrived there earlier,Bernie and Stuart.

They were speaking about some dating app that Stuart was on and they wanted her to try it. She wasn't really interested to be quite honest but she couldn't tell her friends that she already started dating just yet. She still wanted time to process it for herself first. So she played along as she knew they wouldn't really find a great guy so quickly that would meet both their standards and it would make them feel better about themselves. So it was a win win situation.

Howard and Raj came home early and decided to help find a guy for Amy. So everyone was huddled together to see the phone and Amy was just sitting there alone across the room. She was the only one who wasn't interested. She has been on dates not because she wants to but because it was healthy to move on. The guy she saw last night wasn't a bad guy but she didn't feel an immediate connection like she did with Sheldon.

She never believed in love at first sight and she still didn't. She doesn't believe it was love she felt but she felt something when she first met him that she didn't feel with any other person. They were both two peas in a pod. They had so much in common and he made her life better.

She didn't know that day how much that coffee date was going to change her life.She liked being alone but she liked that she had people to count on now. She met her 'family' in a way and she could trust every single one of them with her life. She didn't regret meeting Sheldon,he brought something into her life that she will forever thank him for. She found her people because of him. She actually forgot the feeling of being alone because of him.

There was no way another guy could compete with that but she had to find someone that could make her feel even a fraction of what she felt with Sheldon.

She started to get annoyed when they started making it a game. She knew they would but it annoyed her a little that they didn't take this as serious as she did. This was a big deal for her but they didn't see that,they didn't really understand. Amy asked for her phone back but they were still laughing at the screen. She felt left out but she was involved in this. She wanted to change the subject but decided to just let them have their fun.

Why was this so hard ? Why did breakups have to ruin a person? Why did people want to date when they knew the outcome? She didn't understand humans anymore and the use for dating but she kind of did in a way because dating was mostly based on one thing. Not being alone,having someone there to fill the empty space in their life . She got that part at least.