Disloyal

Chapter 7: Ethan

"Ethan I love you," Juniper yells as I pump in and out of her. She's clawing at my back with her legs tight around my waist. I stare at her - careful not to shut my eyes because if I close them she's there - watching me. Needing me. I lean in and kiss her, swallowing down one of her exaggerated screams.

Feeling my balls tighten, I pump my hips a few more times before cumming. I brace myself on my forearms to hold myself up as I slide out of her. Standing I walk to the bathroom; pulling off the condom and flushing it. Grabbing my toothbrush, I start brushing my teeth.

It's been three weeks and I haven't talked to or seen Cam or Story. He texted me that she and he were flying to Mexico last week, but I didn't respond. I need to get over her and I can't do that without distance. "Let her go," I whisper around a mouth full of toothpaste before spitting and rinsing out my mouth.

Stepping in the shower I turn the water on. It's cold when it first comes out but I need it. I have been feeling unfulfilled lately. I can't get deeper enough in Juniper to quince the burning desire. I let the water run down my face as I try to clear all my thoughts of her.

The other day I went and cut my hair off. I also started letting my beard grow in. I've been trying to look more normal, maybe then I will feel more normal, but so far it's not working. Juniper hates the beard but likes the cut.

When I step out of the shower Juniper is still laying in the bed. She looks crossed and I have a feeling whatever is on her mind will mean changes for me.

"Ethan, when are we getting married? We've been together for two years now?"

"Is there a time limit?"

"We are almost thirty Ethan. We can't put this off much longer. I want kids." She twists up her mouth. "So yes we are on a time limit."

Reaching in my drawer, I pull out my underwear and slide them on. I walk into our closet and grab jeans and a tank.

"So you're not going to answer me?"

"I'm not sure you want to hear my answer."

She frowns sitting up in the bed. She has the sheet pulled up over her. "What is your answer?"

Blowing out a breath I stop and stare into her brown eyes. "I'm not ready. I don't even feel like myself anymore."

Her face turns red. I knew she would get mad, that's why I didn't want to talk about this.

"I don't understand. We've been together for two years; lived together for a year. My parents got married six months after they met. We love each other so I don't understand why you're not ready. How long should we wait?"

"I don't know," I answer, rubbing my hand over my mouth. Why does she do this? Why can't we just be us?

"Ethan, don't you want to have children?"

Running my hand over my head I sigh. "Yes," I say.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get married now and start working on our family. Well - after we get a house, but I'm ready...Plus both of your brothers have children."

Feeling a little anger bubble up I take a calming breath. "Why can't you ever consider how I feel?" I say through gritted teeth. "I'm not fucking ready. Not for marriage or children."

She gasps at my tone and words.

"Is it her? Are you waiting for her?"

After that night and that kiss. Juniper has been constantly asking if I have feelings for Story, she won't let that kiss go. If I say I'm not hungry it has to be because of Story.