Falling for you

First feelings

Emily:
The hot sun threatened to burn my skin as I walked with my friends to an ice cream store. Hanna was with Caleb in Paris so it was me, Aria, Spencer, and Alison.
"I wish I was in Paris right now." Aria said trying unsuccessfully to fan herself with her hand.
"Who doesn't?" Spencer agreed pulling her hair back into a ponytail.
I just smiled to myself and stuck my hands in my pocket.
"We should go there sometime, Emily" Alison whispered in my ear, sending chills down my arms.
I smiled in return.
"Just me and you." She said lowly, her hand brushing over my shoulder. Her touch sent chills down my whole entire body so I just smiled again and tried to act like I didn't care that she was touching me. She flashed her dimples at me but I knew she was just being Alison which made it harder for me to admit to myself that I had feelings for her.

I've known that I like girls for a while now but it was Alison who had confirmed that for me. She could read me so easily and I'm pretty sure that even before I knew I was gay, she did. The funny thing was, she didn't stop being friends with me for it and she didn't treat me any differently either.

Maybe she liked me, maybe she was curious about me. I mean, we did kiss in the library. But she also rejected me in the locker rooms when we were changing. I winced and pushed that thought away quickly but not before I remembered what she said. "It's practice, for the real thing. I like boys"

I like boys.

I kept holding on to this false hope that one day I would get to call Alison mine. That's all it was, false hope; false hope was better than no hope, right?