Falling for you

Mistakes

Emily:
"I love you." I wanted so desperately to say to Alison but I gulped the words down and shut my eyes. I was with Paige and I needed to start acting like it. Alison and I would never work out not only because she didn't like me, but because she was a manipulator. I already felt bad for cuddling with her during the movie, I wouldn't want Paige to be cuddling with some other girl while I trusted her to be faithful.

The night seemed to go by quickly and when I awoke Alison was tangled in me and I found my heart beating quickly.

Stop it.

"Morning." She mumbled, her eyes fluttering awake. I found myself thinking that I could wake up like this any day.
"Morning." I replied getting out of bed and shaking the thought away.
"What are you doing today?" Alison asked me as I changed into my shorts and tank top.
"I'm getting ready to go see Paige for a day out." If I wanted to stop having feelings for Ali, I needed to spend time with my actual girlfriend.
"Have fun." Alison told me as she got dressed.
"See ya." I waved at her after I had gathered my stuff.
"What, no hug goodbye?" She waited for me and held her arms out.
I wanted to act like nothing was wrong so I hugged her quickly and left so she couldn't hear my heart beating. All I needed was to see Paige and then I would be okay.

"Hey." Paige smiled at me and hugged me as I stepped into The Brew.
"Hey." I smiled back and kissed her quickly on the cheek.
She sat down and the sun reflected off of her light brown hair.
"You look great." I complimented her as her eyes sparkled.
"You too." She held my hand but my heart didn't flutter.

Paige and I spent the whole day together and I had to admit that I had fun, but it was more of a best friend relationship. Unlike Alison and I where we were best friends but I wanted something more. I had to stop this, I didn't want to lose Alison but I was in a relationship.
"I'll see you later." I kissed Paige goodbye and headed inside. I blew out the breath I had been holding and tried to relax. I was with Paige, I loved Paige, not Alison.

"Hey mom!" I yelled after I had gone into my room.
"Hey, Alison is here. She said you guys were hanging out again." My mom replied.
My heart hammered in my chest. I couldn't see Alison right now, I was trying to get over her.
"Hi! Sorry, my house got a little stressful so I hope it's okay that I'm here." Alison twisted her shirt in her hands and looked at me.
"Yeah, okay. That's fine." I ran my hands through my hair, "I'm going to shower but I'll be right out."

I needed to clear my head so I hoped the shower would help. I let the warm water run over my body as I thought about the day I had with Paige and how much fun I had. But I also couldn't get Alison out of my mind. I groaned mentally to myself and dried myself off. I wrapped the towel around me and walked into my bedroom.
"Let me get dressed and then we can talk." I informed Alison as I grabbed clothes from my drawer.
"I don't want to talk." Alison said suddenly. She walked behind me and draped her arms around my neck. I felt her lips gently and nervously kiss the back of my neck. I instantly stiffened and hoped my heart wasn't beating too quickly. She turned me around and placed her lips gently on mine.

This isn't right! Stop it.

But I couldn't stop.

I kissed her back and held her hands on my neck. She pulled away and said "just for practice."
The words felt like an arrow to my heart but I just nodded like it was nothing. This was a mistake. I can't be having feelings for Alison while she clearly wasn't into me.
"Practice for Paige." I confirmed but the words tasted bitter in my mouth.

What was wrong with me??