Chasing one's own Death

CHAPTER 15

Wyatt POV

Pumunta na kami ni Logan sa kwarto niya upang manood ng Netflix. Inabot kami ng alas dos ng madaling araw sa panonood ng kung ano-anong pelikula. International movie at Pinoy movies.

I'm a fan of Filipino movies. I watched movies when I'm sad. It's my comfort zone. Movies makes me feel better and it gaves me a lot of courage to continue what I've started in life.

Movies here in the Philippines has a different flavor, you may feel a lot of emotions most especially in Drama and Heavy Drama movies. I watched a lot of Filipino movies like One More Chance, A Second Chance, Barcelona, She's Dating a Gangster, This Time, Talk Back and You're Dead, My Ex and Why's, Unbreakable, Four Sisters and a Wedding, Four Sisters Before the Wedding and more.

I also discovered BL series on year 2018 and I start watched it, most especially Thai BL series. Sotus was my first ever BL series and my last watched BL series was Theory of Love.

Theory of Love tells me that it was really hard to fell in love with your best friend, you know why? Because when you two broke up you loose your partner and a friend at the same time. Sobra akong nakaka-relate sa plot ng story na to dahil yun ang nararanasan ko ngayon, nahulog ako sa best friend ko, although Third —a protagonist from Theory of Love— got his happy ending but so many people don't and that's the fucking reality. Sa realidad hindi ko alam kung magugustuhan ba ako ni Logan pabalik well hindi naman ako naghahangad ng kapalit pero alam mo yun kahit sinasampal na sa'kin ng tadhana yung katotohanan na He can't love you back at tanggap ko na rin yun pero alam mo yun? may puwang pa rin sa puso ko na umaasa na sana magustuhan niya ako ng pabalik.

"Huy, umiiyak ka ba? Tapos na yung movie hindi naman nakakaiyak bakit umiiyak ka?" Logan ask.

"Huh! Ah-eh! H-hindi naman ako umiiyak ah! Napuwing lang siguro."

"Lupet naman niyang pagka-puwing mo tuloy-tuloy ang pag agos ng luha." He sarcastically said.

Umiwas na lang ako ng tingin kay Logan. Mag- 3'oclock na ng maisipan naming mahigang dalawa. Pareho kaming nakahiga na pawang nakalagay ang parehong braso sa aming ulunan at ito ang ginawa naming unan habang nakapikit ang pareho naming mga mata.

Patay na ang ilaw kaya madilim ang kwarto tanging liwanag lang ng buwan na nagmumula sa terrace at ilaw ng lamp shade ang bumabalot sa kabuuan ng silid ni Logan. Trenta minutos na ang lumipas at tahimik lang kaming dalawa walang kibuan at walang nagsasalita. Hangang sa basagin ni Logan ang nakakabinging katahimikan.

"Wyatt, are you still awake?" He asked. I didn't bother to reply. I just pretended that I am already fell as sleep. "I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I can't sleep. Is it because you're on my side? Or is it because of what I am just thinking lately and that was I.... I a-already falling in love with my best friend, with you?"

I get shock because of what he said. I don't know what to say. I just close my eyes and pretend that I'm sleeping. My heart beats fast and I feel the butterfly inside my stomach.

"Wyatt, hindi ko alam kung saan ako dadalahin nitong nararamdaman ko sayo. Dahil kahit ako mismo ay naguguluhan kung ano nga ba ang nararamdaman ko. Basta ang alam ko lang may parte ka sa puso ko na hindi kayang punan ng kahit na sino." He continued. "Don't move!" He said and he held my chin and gave me a soft kiss on my.... on my.... lips.

"I know that you're still awake coz I heard your heart beats fast. Let's sleep!" He hug me at the back and then we sleep on that position.

Kinabukasan, nagising na lang ako na wala na si Logan sa tabi ko. I get my phone on the table at the side of Logan's bed. And when I check the time it's already 12 in the afternoon.