Squidward Is a F*ucking Mindreader

5. The Morning After

*Becca's POV*

I awoke in a bed. It was dark in the room I was in. There was a single ray of sunlight streaking naked across the room. I grimaced. The light was bright. No shit, Sherlock. I rolled over and buried my face into the soft pillows and groaned. It wasn't soft it was hard. Damn. It's probably cold. But it was warm. I felt a sticking out part on my lip, it was strange but my pillow gets lumpy sometimes. This pillow has issues. You get it. I bit the piece near my face. It was soft. Then my pillow moved.

"That's my nipple you're biting." Came the deep voice from my pillow. I spat the piece out.

...

So turns out that wasn't a bit of my pillow...

Um...

I looked up. I was lying on top of a guy. He was sitting up and I was holding onto his waist. He was shirtless and smiling at me. Amusement was all over his face. I had no idea who this boy was and it was worrying. I looked at his face closer. Daniel. He chuckled. I was lying on top of Daniel, the mysterious guy from the hallway, now revealed as a brooding wallflower with strong arms.

What on earth am I saying?

"Nothing at the moment, darling." Came the reply.

"Thanks... Wait- hold up... I'm sorry- are you a mind reader?" I gasped up at Daniel. He had a look of pure delight all over his face. But like the kind of delight you feel when someone tells you a good joke.

"If having ears makes you a mind reader then yes, I'm a mind reader." He chuckled. I frowned.

"No, idiot, I said that inside my head, so how on earth did you hear me?" I was getting more and more annoyed by the second. Why is he acting like every arrogant Wattpad book boy ever? Like, Geez, wrong genre. You've already outed yourself as a mind reader which makes this genre fantasy. So now you whisk me away to a magical land and tell me my whole life is a lie and my parents aren't my parents and I'm the lost princess of some underground mole kingdom. Then we'll go into war and my parents oldest friend will die in battle

"I'm not a mind reader. Nor will I whisk you away to a mole kingdom so you can rule them in a war. And no one is going to die. Calm down."

"See, you say that but you keep reading my thoughts. This is one of those rare moments where actions speak louder than words." I retorted.

"Becca, nothing is louder than your words right now." He was trying not to laugh but I could see the amusement in his eyes. He was laughing at me in his head. Which, alas, I couldn't hear because I'm not a mind reader.

And then Daniel Dumbass broke out into hysterical laughter. He was laughing so incredibly hard. Which was inconvenient because he was on the end of the bed so when he clutched his side from the karma that was pain in his side from laughing so hard, he lost balance and rolled right off the bed onto the hard floor.

"Lol"

"Shut up."

He got up, finally composed and then he looked at me. And suddenly his lips were twitching uncontrollably. Which is hard to describe but I'll try. He had his lips clenched and was trying very hard not to open them. But they were clearly desperate to let out a sound. And he wasn't looking at me. I looked down at myself. Was I dressed inappropriately? I looked at my outfit. I was dressed in a white dress shirt that was crumpled from my sleeping. I didn't appear to be wearing any bottoms, however, upon further investigation I decided I was wearing black shorts.

But that didn't explain the twitchy lips. They were like something out of a horror movie. Ii think Ii watched something where this weird guy moved really fast. He was honestly kinda scary but that was similar. He was all twitchy and weird. What film even was that? I wanna say The Twitchy Twitch man but that was just my opinion. As I thought about The Twitchy Twitch man a strange noise came from Daniel. I turned to look at him.

"Daniel, What the fuck was the noise?" He looked at me and that was all it took.

He erupted into fits of laughter.

He laughed so hard he started crying. I had no idea what was cracking him up like that. He was almost as scary as the Twitchy Twitch man.

"Becca, please. Stop thinking about the Twitchy Twitch man. You keep saying your thoughts out loud and they are so funny." Daniel managed to get out between laughs. I'm not going to write out all the HA HAs because that's awkward and cringe and we don't do that here.

Daniel was crying the whole damn ocean over there so I left. Possibly in a huff.

Definitely in a huff.

Ok, I left in a huff.

I could still hear Daniel laughing his stupid ass off as I walked to the kitchen. As I walked I saw that Daniel had hung up lots of art on the walls of my cottage.

What the actual flying bread sticks.

Who puts up art in someone else's house? At night. While they're asleep. So rude. I looked at the art. It was nice art though. Maybe I'll keep it there for now. I walked to the kitchen and opened the cupboard where I keep my eggs. No eggs. Instead there were plates.

That dumbass rearranged my kitchen. That's just weird. I heard a shower going on. Daniel's distinct laughs were still echoing around my cottage. He was just making himself right at home. Putting up random but beautiful unknown art, rearranging my kitchen, now showering in my bathroom. Probably using my towels because he seems just that weird. I turned to the sink to fill the kettle. And that was when I realised the sink wasn't where the sink usually is.

Now as much as I love the saying 'Everything and the kitchen sink' I don't think Daniel is smart and stupid enough to move my kitchen sink. I mean that, on top of buying and putting up art and re arraniging my kitchen and now I look around, furniture too takes longer than the twelve hours he must've had. And that doesn't account for my headache. His laughing would but it started before he started laughing hysterically like a banshee on steroids.

All these thoughts that I thunk in my head and not out loud, lead me to believe that this location, this cottage, might not be my house.

Which lead me to the final question of the day.

Where the heck am I then?