Squidward Is a F*ucking Mindreader

13. The Squidward, Patrick crossover series

*Becca's POV*

That day went by, and I didn't see Squidward once.

"Honestly, SpongeBob, you deserve an Oscar for that performance yesterday, I almost believed you were sick." Said Josh that morning, when we sat down to eat forty cheerios in 1.56 pints of semi-skimmed milk.

Just as I was bowing, my doorbell rang. I had just started to move to get it, when it rang again. And again. And it kept ringing until I got to the door.

"Someone better be dying." I said to whoever it was at the door, my head was down, as I was kicking some mail to the side of the hallway.

"No one's dying, Becca, I was just worried you were still in bed." Came Squidward's voice from the doorway. I looked up from the floor to see the tall frame of my good friend Squiddy Dubs in the doorway, blocking the morning sun from piercing through the Wednesday air and into my eyes.

"Oh! Josh, we can calm down, No one's dead, Squiddy Dubs just thought I was asleep." I called back to Josh, who had also thought someone was dying when I left the kitchen.

Daniel tensed up beside me and his hands clenched into tight fists, his knuckles turning white around the strap of his bag. I walked back into the kitchen, joining Josh and my bowl of cheerios at the kitchen counter.

Josh saluted Daniel with two fingers before turning back to his cheerios. 

I watched as Squidward scanned Josh's bright yellow pajama top and shorts, with dark spots and SpongeBob' face on the front of the shirt. Meanwhile, I stood in my Patrick Star themed hoodie and sweats, which I had slept on the couch in while Josh had slept in my room, while his bed was being shipped from whatever school he recently moved from.

"And you are?" Said Daniel, the tension in his voice evident. OOOH things are getting SPICY.

Josh swallowed a mouthful of cheerios before smiling a milky smile at Daniel.

"Patrick Star, Pleasure to meet you, Squidward." He said, a snicker leaving his mouth like a fart on roller blades. He stuck out a lanky arm to shake Daniel's hand.

Daniel eyed Josh skeptically before taking his hand and shaking it.

"I take it you must be Josh. And only Becca can call me Squidward." He said. I smirked at Josh.

"Hah, Patty, you really tried." I exclaimed, my smirk larger than Jackie's ego. I think I was sticking to the name Patrick for Josh. Now I can be SpongeBob and my life will be complete. I mean I also need a Gary, Mr Crabbs and a Sandy Cheeks but they can come later. For now, my set is complete.

I smiled at both boys before turning to Daniel.

"Yes, Squidward, why are you here at our home today?" I said to him, gesturing between me and Josh when I said Our.

Daniel's already clenched fist began digging into his palm. He looked at my face, then at Josh's. Then all of a sudden he released a big breath, and unclenched his fists.

"Bro, why did it feel like you were trying to hold in a fart?" Asked Josh and Daniel actually smiled. 

"No wonder you can actually speak to this guy Becca, He's just a male you." Chuckled Daniel and I looked at Josh, now I think about it, I guess I can see it.

Josh looked very confused and Daniel suddenly burst out laughing.

"Josh why are you thinking about Dancing Sandwiches in a travelling circus?" Laughed Daniel, his right arm clutching is side for support as he laughed.

Josh's face twisted in confusion and wonder.

"How the fuck did you do that? Becca, You never told me Squidward was a mindreader!" exclaimed Josh, ignoring Daniel's cold stare at the name Squidward.

If Squidward was an Egg, his name would be Egward.

Josh pointed at Daniel in an animated, OTT way and whisper shouted to me, "SQUIDWARD CAN READ MINDS! DID YOU KNOW?!"  He was red in the face and shocked right to the bone.

"I AM SHOOKETH!" He yelled, full volume. Daniel and I just stood there, blankly. I knew after the things I'd seen and done, loud sounds like that don't sound nearly as frightening or scary anymore. They aren't even loud. 

Daniel shook his head, chuckling slightly.

"I'll tell you what I told Becca. I'm not a Mindreader, I'm just good at reading people." Daniel said, and I nodded along in agreement. But his success rate was dropping and I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time before he zones again and I can ask about the woman and the man from his weird story.

 I was still thinking about the story when Daniel and Josh both started bustling about. Daniel was packing lunches from our fridge into his bag and Josh was legging it towards the bathroom, in order to shower first. I was chill with that, considering he showered quickly.

I slowly trudged towards my room, to lay out an outfit for today. In the end I went with a black long sleeve t-shirt, tucked into a mid-thigh length red tartan corset topped skirt and some black tights to cover my feet inside my black heels. And finally, I put on my Leather jacket. It was black with a billowy skirt type bit at the back.

 I'd been saving for months to buy it after I'd fallen in love with it on The Umbrella Academy Season One. Allison Hargreeves also known as Number Three, had worn it when she returned home following the death of their father, Sir Reginald Hargreeves.

 It had been love at first sight with this jacket and this was the first time I was wearing it. It had cost around £5,125 and I had to have it shipped from where it was manufactured, so added shipping fees tied the total cost to around £5,140. I had made an investment, and I was going to rock this jacket or so help me God.

After I had laid out my outfit I walked towards the bathroom, arriving just as Josh pulled open the door and walked out smelling like a cucumber with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"I'M FFIIIIINNNNNIIIIISSSHHHHHEEEEDDDD" He sang like he was in the Heathers episode of Riverdale. I glared at him, stomping past him as he floated out of the Bathroom like a cucumber smelling, SpongeBob obsessed modern day Jesus. 

I turned on the shower, climbed in and let all my stresses about Squidward slip away.

True relaxation.

Until Josh started banging on the door.

"SpongeBob, where's my bag?" He yelled through the door.

"Well how am I to know?" I yelled back, opening my eyes, only to remember I was shampooing my hair when a soap sud dropped directly into my Left eye like some targetting.

"OH HOLY FLYING F-"