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Chapter 32

I ran back to my room not bothering to come downstairs. I was so mad, I didn't want to see him. It brought back the embarrassment of our last phone call when he labelled what was between us, to "just having fun".

I genuinely thought it might of been the been the beginning of something real, stupidly. You couldn't blame me in a way, he was the first man to touch me so it was only normal I'd feel ways about him.

Jill continued to call me for a while but she soon gave up probably noticing I wasn't coming. I knew Joe would understand, but clearly Hunter didn't.

After twenty minutes I heard him knocking on my door I ignored it but he walked in anyway. "You can't ignore me forever we are family-" I smacked him dead in the face and started pushing him back towards the door. He began fighting against my useless shoves. "Right, right I get it"

"NO YOU DON'T GET OUT" I backed him up near the door.

"I'm sorry." He held his hands up in surrender looking down at me trying not to grin.

"No your not!"

"I am I should've told you, it's my fault. I led you on, I'm sorry. I was stupid I didn't think about how you would feel. I'm sorry Clarice" i had so much distaste for this man, because he used me and now he was stood here apologising for it. "Please forgive me, can I make it up to you? I'm trying to make amends for hurting you. I understand if you don't want to hear it but I know you have questions about me, and I'm giving you the opportunity now to ask them. Just please give me a chance."

"Why didn't you tell me, and don't say you didn't have time again, because you did. Surely you knew I'd find out eventually even if you didn't want me to know."

"Because I didn't want to think about it when I was with you. You made me forget them. It's been hard, and this isn't an excuse at all, but divorcing your wife of twenty four years, isn't easy and you made a great distraction. And I'm sorry for just treating you as that." I nodded still kind of pissed at him, but what he said next broke my heart.

"Since beau it's been difficult. I've struggled, and still am struggling. It's hard waking up in the morning, I still see him in my dreams, and when I open my eyes again i have to remind myself he's gone. He brought out the best in me, he was always there when I needed it. We did everything together growing up we were inseparable and when he died... when he died, it was like I lost my soulmate. He was my soulmate."

Tears welled up in his eyes, as he stood there trying to laugh through his shaky breaths "I'm sorry" I wrapped my arms around his waist as he swayed me putting his head next to mine.

I had no idea that they were that close. I didn't know really anything about beau, as my previous carers said it was still a soft spot for the bidens. I knew it was joes son, and he died two years ago, but that was the extent of my knowledge. It seemed like Hunter had been hurting for a while. I knew he hurt me, but how could I not feel bad for him whilst expressing his emotions about his fallen brother and clinging onto me.

I thought the divorce must of been the tip of the iceberg for him.

"Thank you But Don't be sorry, I'm the one who should be apologising here. I'm a prick"

"I forgive you, come on" I dragged him off to the bathroom and coiled some toilet paper up for him for him to blow his nose with. He was in a right state, it was probably good for him to vent. "I'm sorry for this"

"Don't be, it's alright, I'll always be here if you need it. Like everyone seems to be reminding me in saying "you are not alone" I'll repeat it to you, because your not either."

"I know, it just feels like it"

"I know, but It'll get better, it always does, trust me. take your time to heal"