Reaching You

Chapter 23: Paige

"What the fuck is this?" Ashley splutters as she takes a bite. I giggled at her reaction and quickly covered my mouth with my hand as I see Giana glaring from the corner of my eye. I had totally forgotten about Giana's disastrous cooking. Ryder coughs as he struggles to swallow and Wesley pats his back. I chew carefully and swallow it. "Wesley? Tell me the truth. How is it?" Giana begs, her eyes shining. Wesley gulped at his mate's demand. "It's not that bad. Honey, Ashley was just over exaggerating." He says, shooting Ashley a glare. She nods quickly before picking up her fork again. No one wanted an angry Alpha mate on their backs. Wesley takes another bite and holds up his thumbs. I hold back laughter as he turns green. "This is payback for laughing at our incident, earlier!" Giana says, pouting at her mate. While Wesley dashes to the sink to wash out his mouth, Ashley shoots us a questioning look. I shrug in response and turn to Ryder. "The hallway incident." He explains, making us nod in acknowledgment. Giana had called me about it. It was her first time at the Alpha meeting and it was hilarious as I knew how she had tried to put the mature Luna facade for the meeting despite her fun-loving self.

"Alpha John wasn't traumatized! Was he?" Giana huffs, putting plates away. Wesley smiles at his mate, adoringly. "He was." Ashley, Ryder, and I reply at the same time. He was still a young Alpha as he was barely 18. "Well, he's not a virgin!" Giana says, glaring at her mate. Wesley cocks his head. "Darling, he's saving himself for his mate." He says, with a wide grin. Giana shrieks and buries her head in her hands. "OH, DEAR! We traumatized the poor child! Oh, my goddess." She says, devastated. Wesley chuckles. "He may have learned something useful to please his future mate, sweetheart." He coaxes. She shoots him the death glare. He takes a step away from his mate. That's how I find myself eating pizza with Giana occasionally glancing over at Wesley who was sadly sitting alone in the corner of the room as he fiddles with the hem of his shirt. She had sent him to time out after ordering pizza. I grin as I watch her sigh as she moved to her mate's side. Wesley laces his fingers with her and gives her a shy smile. She groans, knowing that she was lost to her mate's charms. "Damn it." She mutters before they start making out. Ashley groans at their display of affection as Wesley's hand starts wandering up Giana's shirt.

Ryder picks up the box of pizza and gestures for us to head out. We walk out into the front lawn. On our way out, Ashley bumps into an old friend of hers and leaves us alone. I take a deep breath and take a seat in the grass. Ryder sits beside me. Ryder hands me a slice and I eat in slowly. "Paige?" He says, hesitantly. I look at him as he fumbles with his slice. The moon shines down at us. He puts down his slice of pizza. "You aren't going to give me a chance, right?" He says, calmly. I snapped my head up at him in shock at his bluntness. Over the time I spent with Liam, I had prioritized getting his health back as his mate since the pack needed Ryder back. Liam and I grew closer but it only made me feel that we weren't meant to be together.

He shakes his head. "I'm not mad. It's my fault anyway." He says, kindly. "Ryder, I don't want to lead you on. So I have something to tell you." I said, looking at him. How was I going to tell him? I closed my eyes and played with my fingers. I firm my resolve and face him. "Ryder, I'm leaving the pack. I am going to join this pack." I whispered, my wolf howls as I uttered these words. I see a flash of hurt in his grey eyes but he nods. A silence falls upon us and I look away from him. I look up at the beautiful moon, indifferent to our problems.

"It makes sense. Your cousin is here. You have no reason to stay. I understand." He says, breaking the silence. "Ryder, I'm sorry," I said, my heart lurches as I hurt my mate. I knew it was better for us this way. I didn't want to hurt him anymore. The mate bond was toxic and it was too easy to give in but I knew better. "Paige, it's okay. I want you to be happy." He says, earnestly. I look down at the grass, feeling conflicted. It was better for Ryder to think I didn't care about him. "What about the pack?" I asked, my heart heavy. He rolls his eyes at my worries. He waves it away. "The pack comes second to you." He said, gently. It was his kindness that was breaking me. I wanted him to yell at me. But he understood. He stands up and brushes the grass off the pizza box. He holds out a hand and pulls me up. "Paige, I'll make sure to organise your mother's burial and send you your things." He says, quietly. My wolf retreats to the back of my mind at the sight of his expressionless face. He pulls me into a hug. "It's getting late. We better head back. Everyone is waiting for us." He remarks, his arms loosening around me. I nodded. We walk back into the house. His eyes are void of emotion but his back looks so sad.

But I learned something from my mother's death. The mate bond was a curse in disguise. I knew the ugliness of the mate bond. My mother was so consumed by the mate bond that it killed her. I knew loneliness, sadness, and frustration but they were harmless compared to love. Love was dangerous. It made you vulnerable and destroyed you. I knew that for Ryder, it was all or nothing. If I gave in to the bond, I would follow my mother's footsteps. Or worse, Ryder would. I was worried about Ryder. He was an Alpha, temperamental, and sensitive. I could hurt him and I was haunted by that. To think of my mate as becoming a broken shell of a man was terrifying.

So I let him go.