"Love is an unorthodoxical concept."
-Akankshya
Francesca River de Luca
Funny, how winter stops everyone in their place.
Lazily toying with ambitions and the urge to get back under the covers.
Will is such a game changer, yeah?! I mean someone who is willing enough still gets out of the bed, still goes to work layered up in decks of wool and warmth, they still seek life from a cup of warm beverage and they still seek what they want but have not yet found.
Will is the most valuable player in this game where we deal with a house of cards standing in a hurricane.
Sounds like an unachievable milestone, like a joke yet with everything in us we wait and wish for the monster to never return.
This morning is probably the most significant moment in the history and future of my life. Today I stand drenched in love and devotion.
The man in my bed has worshipped me in the sweetest ways there is where we forgot where either of us began or finished. We are just one. Cliche, yeah but also the truth.
I couldn't stop him, not like I tried.
Hah! I offered myself literally. Who am I kidding?!
The greater part of me is feeling like the most beautiful woman, like a queen, like she has everything she needs right here, right now.
But then there is a part of me who is hiding face, who is putting me through my paces, a part I can't seem to ignore.
This part of me is the one every human must have, my conscience. Who screamed at me that this will always tie me to him. This will merge our fates, we won't me intersecting lines any longer rather we'll become entangled forever.
Like the stubbornness of threads who would break before separating, this fear has paralysed my mind. I fear him I reckon. I fear how well he steals me from me and I make excuses on his behalf.
Everytime.
The nights when I sit and search but never find are the ones who make me so vulnerable that I can't think straight when I see him.
Newer thoughts are making my peace quiver in its place like it'll take mere moments to dissipate in to the air. The little part is too big now, it's not just a little kink in my mind no, it's a fully lighted conflagration. It'll find peace only in the ashes it will leave behind.
Ashes of who I am, ashes of who I could have been. Of my morals and values. Of everything I have ever believed in, everything I have stood for.
Is it worth it? Is this man and his convincing ploy worth it? Is it worth loosing my mind for? Is it worth dying in secret for?
Oh. No answer. I have no answer to my questions and trying to find them seems so monotonous and bloody impossible.
It's a mess but I let it happen, I can't blame it on anyone. It's my doing and my undoing too.
"Hey, why are you up so soon? Are you there to welcome the sun?" Leone rasps out in sleep and bursts into a sweet giggle like he's high, drunk on something.
Maybe feelings.
Maybe the air.
Or just hungover.
"No, I just woke up. Couldn't sleep anymore." I turned at my waist to smile at him that escaped me owing to his glee this morning.
"Come back here."
YOU ARE READING
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Romance"You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting" - Peter Pan Francesca finds herself under a wedlock she can't seem to escape t...
