"We are all stories in the end. Unfinished."
-Anonymous
Francesca River de Luca
"I am scared." I sobbed out.
"I know. I am scared too." He consoled as I hysterically declared.
"I am scared that I'll fall face first and I wouldn't even realize when, why or how. I am so scared that I'll never be able to accept the new, expected me, that I'll ruin you. I am terrified that I'll write all of it in fine script that has been dealt with in the stars, that I'll be the final nail on the coffin."
"I don't know what this means, how your world works. I don't know anything. Hell, I don't even know what is going on. Every day I am questioning everything I have ever known, it all looks so fake and false. I am craving a touch of familiarity in this whirlpool. Even when I don't know anything I am finding it impossible to accept it just like that. It's so terrible. So troublesome and confusing."
My tears cascaded down my cheeks like rain fall as I said everything that churned my insides every day, constantly.
"I cannot get it out of my head, you covered in blood, stabbing that man not even flinching while he was being tortured infornt of you. Your hands never shook when you shot that guy the other day. I have nightmares every night. I cannot sleep without feeling like a part of it. Like I am responsible for what happened to every single one of those people. I don't want to live like that. I don't want to sit on the front porch and wait for you to come home alive everytime you step out. I cannot bear to think that one of these days you would return in a coffin because something went wrong. I am finding it hard to even accept the tip of the iceberg, how will I survive when I know it all."
I broke down completely, shattering the shell I fell apart in his arms.
Seeking confirmation, seeking solace, seeking hope.
I am doubtful if I will ever find the answers I am looking for.
I don't know if I really want them.
"Can you promise me that I am not being reasonable? Can you assure me that this will never happen and I am just being paranoid because I saw how merciless and cruel this world is, that you rule so proudly. Can you save me when I die bit by bit every moment I am tied down here as I question my humanity, the knowledge of good or bad and the morals that I have cherished all my life? Will you be able to hold me from slipping away inside my head?"
"I am so scared."
"Above every technicality, I am frightened that I'll fail you. I'll break your hope, I'll ruin your wishes, I'll break your heart. I cannot even fathom the thought without dissipating in dust. I'll fall, Leone and I'll drag you down with me through the dirt and mud. I'll become a stubborn kink in your neck and nothing else will matter. I'll crumble your castle under me. I'll be a knife in your gun fight."
"Francesca." He whispers my name like saying some secret to the wind and sunlight.
"It would be an honor if you break my heart. It's yours, it has been yours ever since that night of your birthday. That little girl took it and ran and I am still running after her. No, I don't want my heart back. I am running because I need hers. Break my heart, Francesca. I would like it no other way. You'll save me."
I tightened my arms around him, scared of the tsunami of feelings inside me and him.
That it'll drown us.
When this man escaped my hit list to hit me with the cupid's arrow, I don't know.
But thank God he did.
CZYTASZ
Entitled
Romans"You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting" - Peter Pan Francesca finds herself under a wedlock she can't seem to escape t...
