Entitled

O T T O - W H I T E

"The deeper you dive in, the more your lungs fill with air."

- Billy Chapata

Francesca River de Luca

White. A colour that symbolises hope, peace and calm. A hope that finds you in deepest, darkest of corners, wrapping you up in a blanket of calm and offering peace to your mind.

Yet, Ironically enough white is a aggregation of all the other colours. It basically holds within itself both light and secret.

As the elevator doors opened to the top floor, we were instantly greeted by shining white. Everywhere.

The top floor is Leone's completely and nobody is allowed to be here without an exaggerated permission from his highness.

The space is divided into five sections of serene white. As you step in, towards the left, a bar welcomes you seductively. The wall of bottled liquid splashing the otherwise white stretch with colours of euphoria. Next to it are doors to the balcony that offers you with cool breeze, relaxing all the tension in your nerves.

The right is cozy with huge fluffy couches with warm fuzzy blankets wrapped over them. The home theater is arranged in front of the sitting area.

A couple of stairs lead to a giant poster bed unsurprisingly covered in white duvet and a dozen of pillows inhabiting the space. As you walk towards the walk-in closet right in front of the bed, blinding light will kiss your eyes through the back wall that is completely made of glass, with remote controlled blinds. And the en suite resembles some kind of a dream. It all screams power and luxury.

"Why is everything so white in here? Regina, does your brother have an obsession with Santa's beard?" Ro enquired earning a roar of laughter from Regina.

"I don't know man. He had always been the weirdest of us all. I guess he just likes it." Reg said shrugging while sending me a meaningful look.

The scene is vivid and clear in my mind, when Leone cried, screamed and demanded that all his belongings be changed to white. He sat on the white single sitter holding my trembling seven year old self on his lap, rocking us back and forth, constantly murmuring 'lei è qui', whatever that meant, until everything was settled. And slept with me in his arms.

Leone was never a fussy kid. He understood things, beyond his age. He went to celebrate his thirteenth birthday with his grandfather in Sicily, six months prior to the actual day, after much fussing because he didn't want to leave me behind. Scaring the rainbows out me.

But when he came back, he was not the same prankster. He was fidgety and flinched at the sight of anything red. One day he made us all throw our ketchup sachets, he was that panicked.

He was having constant panic attacks and he wanted everything to be white and there must be a lot of light. As if he will never see light again if he let it out of his sight for once.

He became way more possessive and obsessive than ever before. He never let me out of his sight, in fact he sat with me in my classes for some days.

He wouldn't eat or sleep when I went home and would demand that I stay. One day he called my dad and literally threatened him to send me to him. This continued for some time. And I just thought that it's just his way of torturing me. Our parents were really supportive of him. They let him be, thinking that he will be normal in sometime.

But one night, he drove to my house and climbed the pipe to my room and cried hysterically holding me to his chest and burying his wet face in the crook of my neck. Saying my name as if whispering a prayer. And maybe he was.