The Return of (s)A(p)

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My grand comeback and this is the title I get.

You: I thought you chose the titl...nevermind. I am very confused right now. I didn't remember you but now I do. What tracks?

Well, remember that whole everyone confess a secret thing?

You: Well, now I do!

Right, I said you could get back to your normal lives and normal implied no more 4th wall breaks. But naturally, Lannan causes a rift in the story as he always does.

You: That explains a lot.

Also you're in a time of distress.

You: Oh God, did I say I would miss you?

Yeah, you did. You must be really glad I'm back.

You: Can you go away now so I don't have problems anymore or whatever the magic is?

When you solve the problems I'll be gone.

You: Ugh...I need some sleep I'm suddenly so tired.

Don't you have any meds?

You: Why would I have meds?

You have a shit ton of trauma and you're telling me you don't have a diagnosis?!

You: I doubt you have the knowledge for mental illness to even start that plot point.

Go see a therapist.

You: I AM A THERAPIST!

Go be a therapist, what would you tell yourself.

You: I don't know, I should focus on the positives like the love of my life.

Right, him. How sappy does he make you?

You: Enough with the ridiculous puns he makes me very happy.

Then be happy with him he's here.

You: What?

Elliott: Honey, I'm home!

You: Ok, pull yourself together.

Elliott: Y/N...*knock knock* You in here?

You open the door in a rush, trying to compose yourself.

You:...We've been dragging the adoption process for a bit too long.

Elliott: Uhhh...we don't get to choose how long the process is.

You: You know what I mean...oh wait you don't. Oh God, I'm back.

Elliott: Y/N, you're confusing me. This sounds like you from...a few years ago. You've got to be shitting me!

Hello!

Elliott: Did you say you would miss him?

You: Yeah, I retract that. Was it really that bad with Jared.

Elliott: I think there's some sort of soft spot in him but I can't get through it.

You: I think we have to get through it so our story spirit can get his mystical ass out of our heads.

Elliott, we haven't talked much. I' was in Y/N's most of the time so I've decided I'm going to follow you around the entire time.

You: At least you'll be a side character which makes you less of a pain in the ass.

Elliott: He'll be with me the entire time I don't think that makes him a "side character".

You: Yes he would he because.

Elliott: Because what? Say it Y/N because what?

You: Because I'm the main character.

Elliott: That is so self-centered of you! We're not waiting for you to act so we can live our lives the world does not revolve around you!

You: You don't get it.

Elliott: And why don't I get it?

You: BECAUSE YOU PUT SIDE CHARACTER UNDER AIR QUOTES! Don't you get it? We're beyond fictional we're faketional. Our relationships are contrived our bond is just some loose ink that fell out of the pen of life. We don't live! Our daily routine is narration, exposition, convenience, coincidence!

How do you know this?

You: When you made this story I wasn't there from the start. You put me in during the middle it gave me a perspective you can't comprehend. I was outside of the bubble. Nothing goes on unless we're around. I practically appeared at Click's doorstep!

Elliott: Y/N, you're scaring me.

Don't worry I'll fix this

You: Fix what?! This isn't real! You even lied to me about how much power you hold! You lied to me about the narrative!

Surely you've heard of WandaVision.

You: No...no nonononononono!

Elliott, I'll be following you with pride.
Y/N you're now the character on the side.

*Bloop*

You:-get his mystical ass out of our heads.

I've always wondered how life is with Elliott. Mind if I follow him around and give him some limelight?

You: Sure,why the fuck not? Just stay away from my kids for now.

Don't worry, I won't interfere you're the one who needs to fix them.

You: Fix them is a bit harsh. Also Clarissa's done nothing wrong.

...yet.

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