Messed Up || Chanlix

Chapter 18

Chan woke up to his name being called by his step mom from downstairs. "Chan, darling. Breakfast is ready!" Chan groaned in annoyance, flinging his blanket off of his body and across the room. He had only gotten two hours of sleep. He couldn't really settle down after last night's events. 

He climbed downstairs and into the kitchen. He took the seat furthest from Felix who had already been sitting at the table, playing with his food. Chan shot him a quick glance. Felix looked horrible. His hair was sticking out in many directions, his eyes looked red and puffy, and he wore a really big hoodie in desperate attempts to hide his face. He could only assume that him and Changbin had broken up last night. That's the only logical reason for Felix's obvious crying. 

Chan could tell that the boy had been crying. He could see the dried up tears and snot on the sleeve of his hoodie. Chan cringed in disgust. Didn't Felix know what a tissue was?  Chan couldn't decide if he felt bad for his little brother or not. Chan was the reason for this happening after all. Chan didn't like the sight of seeing Felix so weak and broken. It was a very rare sight, but whenever it did happen, all he would want to do is hold his brother and tell him everything would be okay. 

Chan felt the guilt sink in. Maybe he should've kept his mouth shut? Chan knew damn well that if the roles were reversed, Felix wouldn't feel a thing. He wouldn't care, matter of fact, he'd probably be happy because he got his way. Part of him wanted to be mad and believe Felix deserved this, but Chan wasn't that type of person. Chan knew that two wrongs didn't make a right. 

Felix sat there stirring his cereal repetitively in a circle. He rested his head on his hand and stared blankly at the cereal that was beginning to turn soggy from sitting for so long. Felix didn't even bother eating the breakfast that his mom cooked. He opted for cereal today. Chan's step mom set down a plate of bacon and eggs for him and gave him a warm smile. Chan smiled back, thanking her. 

"Felix, honey. Are you sure you're okay?" She asked once she saw the small boy. He just nodded his head without saying a word. Chan ate his breakfast, giving Felix occasional glances. Felix groaned in annoyance after the tenth glance Chan spared. "I'm going back to bed." Felix snapped. He walked off to his room quickly. Chan could hear the door lightly slam shut. He sighed and ran a hand through his brown locks. 

Chan wasn't exactly sure what to do. He was getting tired of this constant up and down between him and his brother. Chan just wanted something, anything that was stable. Felix was a mess that Chan was desperately trying to clean up. Felix was clearly upset about him and Changbin's obvious break up, but Chan couldn't exactly figure out why. Felix cheated on him so often, you could arguably say that he didn't love Changbin at all. You don't cheat on people you love, ever. 

Felix even used Changbin for his own benefit whenever it suited him most. Chan couldn't count the times Felix had used Changbin to make not only him but other guys jealous. Felix definitely was not the best at expressing his feelings. Chan was sure Felix didn't even know what loving somebody meant. How could you constantly hurt somebody you "love"? Chan to an extent felt bad for Changbin even though he couldn't stand him. The boys had been dating for two years so of course he could only assume Changbin was heartbroken once he found out. 

Chan had wondered how it played out once he left the living room last night. Did Felix confess? How did Changbin react? Many questions danced around Chan's mind. Maybe he should go apologize? "Could you go check up on Felix, honey?" Chan's mom said while washing dishes in the sink. Chan nodded and nervously made his way upstairs. Chan knew that Felix was going to try his best to avoid him for a while, but Chan wasn't going to allow that this time. 

Chan knocked on his door lightly. He didn't say anything, because he knew Felix would be more likely to answer if he didn't know who it was. "Yes?" Felix softly spoke from the other side of the door. Chan intentionally didn't respond. He expected Felix to open the door after a long moment of silence but he didn't. Chan knocked once more, hearing Felix groan in the process. Chan heard sheets rustling and footsteps stomping towards the door. Felix swung the door open and immediately went to go close it the second he saw Chan.

Chan shoved his whole body onto the door in attempts to stop Felix from locking him out. "S-stop!" Felix said, pushing as hard as he could. "No, You're gonna talk to me." Chan responded, pushing even harder. Felix was slowly getting pushed further and further back. Chan was arguably much stronger than him. "Go away!" Felix screamed loudly. "No!" Chan shot back even louder. 

"Everything okay?!" Chan's dad shouted from his bedroom. "Yes!" Chan shouted back. Chan pushed harder on the door. Felix desperately tried pushing back, but failed and fell backwards onto the floor. Chan rushed in quickly and shut the door behind them, locking it in the process. Felix felt himself fall into that familiar feeling he had felt all night last night. He started crying, loud and hard. Chan watched his brother crumble before him once more.  

Chan watched as Felix used his hoodie sleeve as a tissue and cringed. "Stop doing that! It's really gross." Felix ignored him and hugged his knees closely to his chest while he cried. Chan wanted to hold him and tell him it would be okay. He considered doing it, but he knew that if he did, Felix would probably start hitting him and screaming. Chan sighed and sat down on the floor next to Felix. The only thing on his mind at this point was how he was going to fix this.