Chan let out a shaky breath, tears forming in his chocolate brown orbs. "You- you have to be joking, right?" Chan asked, clutching tightly onto this fork in his hand. Felix eyed his brother, his insides churning at the look on his brother's face. Chan looked so devastated. The harsh reality of his selfish actions were becoming more apparent the more the conversation progressed.
"You went back to the same boy who did all of this to you and your brother?" Their mom questioned, trying to keep herself calm. She knew that yelling would only make this situation more difficult for the boys.
Felix looked down at his hands in his lap, nervously biting his lip. He didn't want to go back to Changbin, that was the last thing he wanted. He only went back to him, because he was the only one who was capable of giving him a temporary distraction.
"Why did you do this?" His stepdad asked.
"I-I did it because I wasn't thinking. After mom kicked me out of the car, I was so upset I needed something, anything to distract me. E-everybody else was busy, and I was desperate. I only texted Changbin because he was the only one who I knew could give me what I wanted... Weed and alcohol that is." Felix spoke softly, cringing at how it sounded out loud. It sounded completely and utterly pathetic. His pride was being ripped to shreds this very moment, but it was his fault. He only had himself to blame.
"Please believe me when I tell you nothing happened. When I got there I didn't even want to talk to him. I just wanted to get my fix and leave." Felix said, turning all his attention to his older brother. Chan was sitting there quietly, tears streaming down his cheeks.
The whole thing made Chan extremely hurt and uncomfortable. He hated the fact that his parents were now involved in all of this. He hated that they knew, and that they were seeing all of this happening right in front of them. This whole situation was something parents seemingly had no place in, their children's personal affairs that is. Chan knew that if this were happening with somebody other than Felix, his parents wouldn't be as involved as they are currently.
Chan sat there quietly, looking at all the other figures in the brightly lit kitchen. His parents looked concerned and angry. Chan's dad could sense how uncomfortable he was. He knew Chan better than anybody. "I don't think your guys' personal drama should be discussed with or in front us any longer. Deal with all of this on your own time please. For now we need to discuss you and Changbin, Felix." Their dad sternly spoke.
"You are grounded. You aren't allowed to leave this house for the remainder of your suspension. Your phone and laptop will be taken away, and we are contacting Changbin's parents to dicuss this matter further with them." Felix's mom said, sipping out of her black coffee mug before continuing, "Things are going to be changing a lot around here, so get used to whatever comes your guys' ways." She said, turning her attention to both boys.
Both of them nodded. They were both crying messes. Felix didn't feel the need to object to his mother's punishment. He was starting to realize that a lot of the bad things happening to him were his fault, and he couldn't blame anybody other than himself. "You boys can talk to the both of us whenever you need, but spare us the details of certain things okay? We are still going to need some time to get used to you two being together. We don't know where to go from here, only the future will tell us that, but for now try to take this time as a little break from all the drama happening." She smiled softly at her kids.
"You boys go sort your stuff out, me and your father are going to the store to get groceries. Don't kill each other while we are out, love you!" She winked, both of them blowing their kids kisses before walking out the door.
Both boys were left in a tense awkward silence. Their small sobs filled the thick silence. "C-Channie..." Felix weakly whimpered out. "I know I shouldn't have gone to him. I know I should have stayed away, and I promise it will never happen again, I swear!" The small boy cried out, getting up from his seat and walking to his brother. He pulled Chan up, wrapping his arms tightly around his brother's muscular frame.
His heart shattered when he felt Chan not hugging him back. He quickly pulled away to see Chan's face that was mixed with sadness and anger. "A-are you okay?" Felix asked, somewhat scared by his brother's expression. Chan sat there for a good moment, tears still streaming down his pale cheeks. He didn't want to speak to Felix, let alone see him. That beautiful face drove him crazy. Felix looked beautiful even when crying and Chan hated it. Chan hated how weak Felix made him feel.
"I've been considering on asking dad if I can move in with my grandma." Chan spoke, turning his attention away from his little brother and going to put his plate in the sink. "N-no! Don't go back to Australia! P-please!" Felix pleaded, following Chan around the kitchen like a lost dog. Chan ignored his little brother, making his way out of the kitchen before being stopped by Felix running in front of him.
"L-listen to me, Channie! I don't want Changbin, I don't want anybody! I just want you! I know how shitty I have been and I know how much I have fucked up with you, but I want to make it right. I want to start getting my shit together and bettering myself..." The small boy said, clutching onto his brother's arm.
"Please listen to me! Please believe me when I say I have always loved you, even when we were little boys. It took me too long to realize it, but I know now. The whole reason why I began flirting with you and throwing myself at you for all those years was because I didn't know how else to express my feelings for you!" Chan rolled his eyes, yanking his arm away from his brother.
"You flirt and throw yourself at everybody." Chan harshly spat. The small boy froze, heart shattering upon hearing the harsh words from his brother. "C-Chan you- you're right and I hate that you are, but with you it was different, it meant so much more than just sex! When we started getting closer, I felt things I never even felt with Changbin!" Chan tilted his head to the side, curious to hear more.
"I feel all that gay shit people always talk about. Ya know... feeling butterflies and fireworks whenever together. I-I never felt that with anybody in my life but you, that's why I spent so long trying to get close with you. I know I did it in a very wrong way, but I-I do mean it when I say I love you..." Felix began crying harder. He hated how being so weak and honest made him feel so much more relieved. He had kept all that in for years.
"Please don't go to Australia. I-I don't know if it's too late, but my answer is yes. I want to be with you. I want to be your boyfriend. I am honestly so afraid of what people are going to say about this, but I am more afraid of losing you. P-please give me another chance. I'm so sorry!"
Chan's anger subsided quickly. He could never stay mad at Felix, no matter how much he wanted to. His heart fluttered in his chest. Felix's words made him feel euphoric. He never thought Felix would have the guts to admit such things, but the boy was always full of surprises. He walked up Felix, wiping away the salty droplets of water that fell from his eyes before softly cupping his cheeks.
"I forgive you. I want to be your boyfriend too." Chan smiled, pulling his little brother into a gentle and delicate kiss.
THE END
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i really hope you guys enjoyed this book! i know the ending is kinda ass but i hope you guys enjoyed!!!! thank you so much for supporting me and my journey! i love you all <3
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Messed Up || Chanlix
FanfictionChan and Felix have been step brothers for as long as the boys can remember. They basically grew up together ever since they were little kids. What happens when times change between the boys and they get older?
