MARIGOLD |H.S. AU|

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

TW- There is reference to drug usage and abuse, if this is a triggering topic for you, please pop me a message and I will summarise the chapter for you :)

Love you all <3

Harry's P.O.V.

I'm worried about her. That same face that I saw when she first had a panic attack in front of me, has been etched into her expression since we found that body a few days ago, and I've ignored it since then, thinking she just needed to process, but it's been a few more days now and I still see it in her every expression, even if it's only slight.

I see her flinch every time someone walks into the room, or every time a door slams too loud, and that's exactly the reason I'm not going to ignore it anymore.

I was never going to ignore it in the first place, but seeing how much it's affected her, gives me more motivation to find out exactly what the fuck is going on, quicker than I anticipated.

I've always known there was some weird shit going on, but I never knew it would be this bad, and it's affecting her, which I don't want for her.

I like seeing her carefree, so calm, just watching her take in her surroundings, it's the time where I know she's truly relaxed, and I can tell by the smile on her face that it's easy for her to feel that way, how it should be. Like when I was teasing her for ordering olives on her pizza, or how much she was listening to me when I was talking about the flowers.

Stuff like that is so easy for her, for us, and I hate seeing her so far from that place.

And although Zayn arriving had definitely distracted her from that, I can tell it's still all she's thinking about. I see her stood in the events room waiting to be called on stage and I see her scratching at her fingers, around the skin of her short acrylic nails, and I know she's scared, she's uncomfortable, but most of all, she's uneasy. She doesn't know who to trust and she doesn't know as much as she wishes she did.

She tells me she never wanted to know if her Dad was involved, but we both know that's a lie. Flower likes to know what's going on around her, not so she can rub it in people's faces that she has a certain amount of knowledge of something, just so she can put herself at ease knowing she has some form of control. It's for herself, and that's something I can very much understand. Flower likes to have control, just like me.

She's warming to me, I can tell, and things are slightly different, I catch her glancing at me, asking questions to herself about me in her head, but not wanting to ask as she doesn't want to intrude my thoughts. She knows I'm a private person, and she understands that. It's why she only knows things about me that I've told her.

I don't know if she'll ever know anything more about me, I've never told anyone much about myself in great detail, never opened up about my past. I've never let myself get close enough to anyone to do so.

It's also why I've never pushed her to tell me anything that would make her uncomfortable, I've only listened when she needed to talk.

I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to talk to her like that, the way she so openly discusses things that she struggles with, her anxiety, her father, the loss of her mother, and I admire her so much for showing me that.

That's why when I realised I would have to lie to the police, I did it without a second thought, because she needed me to. She isn't ready to find out what is really going on, even though it's exactly what I want to know. There will be more for me to find, I'm sure.

The police didn't really want to know anything that had me worried they might know what is going on. They just wanted to know Jack's general personality, or any behaviour that might've seemed out of the ordinary from the tour so far. My interview was slightly longer than anyone else's because I had more of a personal relationship with Jack, and they just wanted to see if he was acting suspicious at any point, checking his phone suspiciously, or any signs of worry or threat. Which I didn't see any of, but then again I never really gave him much of my attention, when I wasn't cueing lights and sound, I was staring at Bry.