Avengers Shattered

Ch. 18 "Lost"

                                                          Kayden POV 

My opponent lays at my feet as the ref holds my arm in the air, the crowd cheeks and screams,  after my session with Bucky I needed to let off some steam without any consequences, sure I could beat everyday thugs to a pulp, 

But this... This is so much more satisfying, 

The adrenaline, the thrill, no rules, 

I thrive on it, sure the guy was bigger than me, sure he did get a few hits in, 

But what can I say, anger sure does fuel me, 

I was not at the front desk, the manager was sweeping out the cage and floor, 

"$10,000," The man said 

"Thanks," I said 

"Have to say never seen a kid take a hit like that and get back up like it was nothing," He said 

I smirked, 

"Takes practice, see you next time," I said 

He nodded as the smoke from his cigar escaped his lips, 

I walked out of the place with my backpack over my shoulder, the rain fell hard from the sky, the thunder cracked, 

The lightning lit up the sky, 

Frankly this didn't bother me, to tell you the truth, in some weird way it held some form of comfort, 

The thunder made me think, that maybe, just maybe someone out there, was suffering the same fate as me, that I wasn't alone in this curl life, that maybe someone out there understood, 

I looked up at the sky, as the rain drenched my hair, skin and clothes, 

But then I wake up and realize no one could possibly understand, 

Every adult in this world is out to get you, punish you, hurt you, knock you down when you are already on the ground, 

But what I learned a long time ago, is it's not about how hard you can hit, but it's about how hard you can get hit, and get back up, how much you can take,

Going in one more round when you don't think you can that's what makes all the difference in your life,

That is how I've always survived, that is how I've kept this entire thing safe and secret, 

I started walking again, 

I didn't feel like going home, I didn't feel like going no where, 

No one was on the road, or sidewalk due to the rain, 

I walked to the cemetery, 

staring at the stones, 

I laid some flowers on the graves, 

"Sorry I know it's been a while," I said 

"I remember what you told me that night, and I know you expect from me, but I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I feel like all of this.... This fighting is getting me no where," I said as tears welled up, 

"I want to catch the guy who did this, but I'm starting to lose hope on finding him, And I'm just so angry, I know I shouldn't I know that, but I just can't seem to control it anymore," I said 

Sure tears were rolling down my cheeks but the rain was washing them away, 

"I just don't know how to do this anymore, how... how do I keep my promise without killing somebody?" I said 

"I just need the right answer," I whispered, 

I sighed standing up, and walked out of the cemetery, 

I just feel so lost lately, with The Avengers being the biggest pain in my ass, and Jerry unleashing is wrath on me, 

I just don't know which way to turn anymore, I thought as I made my way home hoping his drunk ass was asleep when I arrived, because the way I'm feeling I'm in no mood,