Hurt, Pain, Regrets

Insane

have i become insane?
have my heart lost its taste?
those piercing gray eyes
are engraved on the 
backs of my eyelids.
and i know your voice
like the back of my hand.
but i'm insane, right?
because those gray eyes 
are so cold;
i shiver at the sight of them
but at the same time 
i can't tear my eyes away
or look the other way.
your voice barks out threats 
and harsh commands,
yet i find myself falling 
for its melody.
but are you really the
character you live up to be?
although I can't picture you 
in a field of flowers, 
i can picture you 
as a friendly smile 
to a young and helpless child.
but have i become insane?
did i fall in love with the 
need i see in your icy eyes?
did i fall in love 
with the idea of you needing me?
maybe one day,
i'll be able to peek
through those thick walls of yours,
or maybe even hold your heart. 
but i know sooner or later
that door of yours will be
slammed against my heart.