beep....beep...beeep
I woke up to my arm being shaken aggressively, and the machines beeping off in the distance. I opened my eyes and saw I was in the hospital bed, the brown eyed nurse from earlier stood beside me.
"How are you feeling?" She asked adjusting my pillow for me.
I slowly reached a hand up to my face and felt the wetness of several tears that had fallen when I seemed to have been in that dream.
..or whatever it was.
I couldn't say anything because yes I was sore from the bullet, but that was no pain compared to that of reliving the moment the Winter Soldier had changed my life forever. I couldn't describe that to someone.
"Helina," she called out to me. I realized my eyes were transfixed on the wall in front of me. I blinked a couple of times, shaking my head as I turned to look at her.
" I'm just tired," I lied, flopping my head onto the pillow as I turned to face her. Her eyes seemed to widen with worry as she took a step back to check the IV in my arm.
"You had a panic attack..." she explained as she moved to double check the bandage on my stomach. I tried to lay as flat as possible as I looked up at the ceiling. A small tear trickled from my eye, falling onto my pillow.
"I think I had a flashback-" I tried to finish my thought but was interrupted by the door to my room being ripped open. Bucky appeared in the door way, breathing heavily. His hair was still dripping from a shower and he was in a pair of my baggie men's sweats and a t shirt.
My heart stopped when I saw him, even the monitor picked it up as it seemed to skip.
He had a look of worry that I had seen so many times before but this one seemed more intense. He slowly walked over to me as he looked between the nurse and me, his eyes scanning over me looking for any kind of harm.
"I came as soon as the nurse called," he said quietly as I watched him run over to my bed dropping down to a knee. I was stunned, almost stuck in my own head looking at Bucky, watching his every move, it felt like I was still dreaming as I saw Bucky Barnes, and not the Winter Soldier.
He reached out his hand trying to hold mine, but I flinched, pulling my hand to my chest.
The flash of hurt in his eyes snapped my heart in half. It seemed to break his heart as well. I saw small tears starting to form in his eyes, making his blue eyes seem more blue than ever before. He leaned back away from my bed still kneeling, only looking at me, watching, observing me. His hands rested on the very edge of the bed, as he looked at me earnestly, unsure of what to do.
"Lina it's me," his words came out quiet and hoarse. I turned to look at him, his cheeks were flushed red from the tears that fell, his frown breaking my heart. A few tears starting to fall from my eyes as I looked at him, my lip quivering as I hated myself for flinching away from the man who I knew felt like home.
"I...I didn't mean to flinch," I coughed out through the tears. Bucky leaned forward holding onto my every word.
"I know it wasn't you're fault," I choked out, the tears falling a little more as I spoke. And I knew that it was never him, that the man all those years ago who killed my father, wasn't the man I was deeply in love with.
YOU ARE READING
The Serum || b. barnes
Fanfiction"I don't understand how you could keep this from me Buck, from Mr. Nakajima! He loved you like a second son!" "For the first time in my life I had a family! I had you! I wasn't going to risk losing you.." "It's to late for that now.." "Please Heli...
