Through our eyes

Where it all started

I never made friends easily, I was never interested in their little games. I was the kid you always seen walking around with the teachers. That was until grade 5 when I learned just how different I was. How other kids didn't put their shoes in a bag so no germs would be to get to them or people touching your stuff made them freak out-especially their pencil. I thought people would understand. But they didn't. I was the weird kid. The clean freak, or at least that was what the teacher thought when she made a joke about me in front of the whole class. How she used my pencil just for fun. Watching as I would hyperventilate, my skin itching, tears coming out to play. A trip to a fancy doctor, an hour later I walked out with a piece of paper and a label. I had OCD obsession  compulsive disorder. And so my journey began.
It didn't end there. Middle school came and so did all the fears. I become scared of the outside world, leaving my house would send me into a panic attack. My new best friend came went where I went making sure I always had company and was always afraid. Another trip to the doctor and and a name for my new friend generalize anxiety and social anxiety.
Summer came and went and the chance for a new beginning once again. High school, so much different then middle school everyone was older, prettier, had so many friends. I new from the first minute I walked into that place I didn't belong. I spent every morning changing six times hoping to look nice. But nothing ever felt right, I felt like a poster in my own skin. I went to the bathroom every morning hoping when I looked in the mirror something different would be looking back. That maybe that group of kids weren't laughing at me. They didn't see how my hair stood up, or my clothes weren't the nicest. I become friends with a bathroom had my own stall. Even thought of having my name engraved on it. I spent many lunches in there crying. I cut myself for the first time in there. I wasn't surprised I had a break down. Going to the doctors for the millionth time. New pills, always new pills. My whole life I have been fighting against the darkness, the Intrusive thoughts, I've survived.