The Unwanted Promise (New Cover, Same Story)

12. And Away Your Worries Go

I couldn’t do it though. I was too scared. I was too much of a coward.

Laying there, in the dark of my room, I saw no hope. What was the point of living?

All I had with me was time. But time was a funny thing. It moved and passed, and people plead with it. Please give me the time, the moment, to go through my shit and to get up. Please stop for for second and I promise I’ll stand up even stronger.

Time waited for no one.

I fought back, thinking I could mess with it. I took to watching everything I could find, wasting time. Movies, dramas, television shows, videos youtube provided. Books filled up the extra space. I thought I defeated time. Instead of pining away at it, I was using up time. And this little victory made me feel powerful.

Happy for the first time in forever. I had won in a battle between time. It wasn’t only the little victory I gained, through everything I watched, read, I found life again.

Little by little, story by story, piece by piece, I came back together. No longer was I alone, I witness many before me go through the same mess I was in and they got up and moved on.

Time waited for no one, but time also healed.

As the day went, I learned to live with the hole in my heart. The pain was bearable, no longer tying me down.

A day came by, when I had enough. No longer was I going to plead with time or fight a small battle I already won. I was ready to see the sun again, to breathe that fresh air, to walk among the living.

Flipping on the light to my room, the sight scared me more than I thought it would. I knew it was bad, but when it came down to it, the room was equivalent to a thrash can.

Wincing at the mess, I picked through the piles of already worn clothing item. It was pointless to try and clean anything at the moment, I would have to get to it later. Something else was on top my priority list and I was determined to get it done that day.

I settled on the cleanest, least bad odor item and threw them on. Fishing through more crap, I hunted down the contents of a purse and what should go into it. Slinging that around my body, I grab some shoes and I was ready to go.

The next part was going to be even harder than the first. I was going to ask my sisters to come along with me.

With one last look at my amazing mess, I smile as I flick off the light. Not looking back, I close the door.

Olive’s room is a bit down from mine and I take the small journey over to her door. The thump of my heartbeat quickens. I was worried how she would react to me being out of the prison known as my bed.

Standing in front of her door, I build up the courage to knock. I already got this far, I couldn’t back down now. This was something that had to happen. Knocking on the door, I wait for Olive.

“Who is it?” Olive’s voice comes from the other side.

“It’s me, Cari,” I said back.

“Cari?” Olive said. There was noises of movement in her room, and not a minute later, Olive is opening her door to me. “Cari, what’s up? What’s going on?”

She looks me up and down, “What are you doing? Why are you dressed up? You’re not planning on running away are you?”

“No,” I tell her, “I’m not planning on running away. I want to go out but I want you and Lia to come along.”