The Unwanted Promise (New Cover, Same Story)

16. Welcome Home

Weeks after the picnic I was still pondering over my role as not only wife, but daughter-in-law. Being a wife along with all it’s other titles was already a handful. And now the thought of possible motherhood loomed before me. Even though I knew of what my role expected, I never expected to become what I was. All I ever wanted in life was to live a life free from expectations. But here I was, living such a different lifestyle than a young me could ever have imagined. Everything I encountered was new to me and every aspect scared me.

Bee was staying late to finish assignments, and I was in the kitchen cleaning up for the night. I had let the girls go first since they were busy with school work as well. Silently I scrubbed the plate in my hand.

I had not been paying attention to my surroundings, but the mention of my name intrigues me. “I don’t know what is wrong with that girl. Nou Hli has been very nice for the past year, but she is still the same. She doesn’t go to school and she doesn’t work. All she ever does is sit in her room.”

My mother-in-law was talking about me. My heart drops, and cold rushes through my body. The plate I am holding shakes as I lose my hold on it. The water runs untouched. Could this really be happening?

“I know,” the voice of my father-in-law follows after, “But we can’t push these kids if they don’t want to do anything.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” my mother-in-law responds, “Should I go and talk to her parents? Bee never says anything to her.”

“Stop worrying about it. We talked to Bee, and he will have to talk to her from now on. She is his wife.”

“Keep being silent. Before we know it, she is running off with some other guy.”

“Wife, stop talking like that. You better watch your words.”

“You know I’m right. Who knows what she is doing. She’s always on her computer.”

“Stop it now.”

They were quiet and no more talking was done. I hear their footsteps head towards the bedroom. Back in the kitchen, I was still frozen. Has it really come to this? My whole life, everything I knew, was being questioned.  They really did expect me to change for them. But could I? Everything I worked for, everything I put my whole life into, was I willing to change just for them?

Coming back to my senses I quickly do the rest of the dishes. After wiping down the water mess, I hurry to the safety of my room. I was angry, and that led me to writing out that anger. Page after page, word after word, I tried to figure out the situation and what I could do to fix it. Was it even possible to fix it? Sure Bee and I could have a child, but we weren't ready for that. We haven't even talked about it, nonetheless go any further than we already have in bed.

No, no way would I have to change myself even more. I may have came to love this family, but I was already doing as much as I could. I am a different person now, one that my old self would have loathed. Getting married and falling in love with this whole family. I would have laughed at who I am now. As much as I wanted Bee's parents to be happy, I wanted to be happy as well and I want a choice in my life.

I know I haven't been the perfect daughter-in-law, but would having a child for them really change anything? Would finishing off useless courses I would never need in my already perfect lifestyle help them? Would pride of having a good daughter-in-law increase their outlook on life? For them, my status in the world meant nothing unless I could have something of educational value to show for it.

"You're still up?"

I was still rage writing when Bee came in. Hunched over and deeply immersed in my work I didn't notice him walk in. "Yeah, I'm finishing up. I'll be going to sleep soon."