Is he my best friend..? Or more..?

Flashbacks...

~Flashback to the first month of the host club with Haruhi~

~Kyoya's pov~

As always, I was sitting in the clubroom, talking to our newest member Haruhi when Tamaki ran in.

"Haruhiii!~ Why have you been hiding from daddy?!" He announced to her. 

"Because you're annoying senpai, and I would rather study in peace without you yelling in my ear," Haruhi replied.

The two continued talking back and forth, and I couldn't help but feel invisible right then... They had grown quite close, and I could tell Tamaki loved her... I always asked myself, what's so damn special about her that he could fall for her in a month when I've been his best friend for years? What does she have that I don't..? I felt my heart sink as I worked. 

Soon enough, Haruhi got fed up and left the room. Tamaki stood there as the twins went to him.

"Hey, boss! You need to chill a little if you want to marry her." They both said in unison.

Tamaki looked at them, "But I will! As her father, I will protect her! So I will marry her!"

The twins looked at each other, "we don't think she'd want that."

The rest of that conversation was a blur as I sat there. I didn't want to get emotional in front of them... They'd figure me out immediately. That's when I stood up, "I'm going home..."

Tamaki looked at me, "huh? Why?"

I looked back at him fight tears now, "I don't feel great today; I'll see you tomorrow..." Then I walked out without another word.

I went straight home and straight to my room, curling up into a ball on my bed, not even bothering to change out of my uniform.

A few hours had passed which I had been crying on and off throughout. I had changed into an old T-Shirt that Tamaki had let me borrow last year. Somehow it still had the scent of soft lavender with sensual oakmoss, and a touch of amber rose. I remember he told me that was the scent of his cologne which was quite fitting for him... Tamaki had always been a few inches taller than me every year; it always made me think that if Tamaki and I had ever started dating- which I doubt would happen- I'd be the one taking his clothes since they fit me. 

Just then, I heard a soft knock on the door and a familiar gentle voice, "kyoya? Are you feeling any better?"

I looked up to see Tamaki standing at my door before rolling over, "I'm fine... Leave me alone, Tamaki... Didn't you say you were going to visit Haruhi's place today..?"

Tamaki sits down on the bed next to me, "I wanted to check on you, and you're wearing my shirt, so I'm sure you wanted me here."

I looked down, "no, I'm wearing this because all my other loose shirts are in the wash..." that was a lie...

We sat in silence for a bit before Tamaki got up, "that's ok, I'll go... I get you're sick and want to be alone... I'll see you tomorrow" I heard the sound of Tamaki set something in a glass bottle on my nightstand before leaving.

After I knew he was gone, I rolled over to see what he put on my nightstand; what I saw was a bottle of Gingham Eau De Parfum (it doesn't smell like Tamaki, but I liked the name, so yeah). Tamaki had told me this was his favorite cologne to use... so why would he give it to me..? I wonder... I looked around for a second before grabbing the bottle and spraying it on my pillow, then putting it back on the table like I never touched it. I laid back down with my face in my pillow before tearing up all over again. Why did Tamaki have to come and give me this..? Why..? The damn idiot doesn't even realize I was upset because he wanted to be with Haruhi instead of me... I already knew he liked her, but why does it hurt so bad to think about it?! God, I hate him... but I love him at the same time... What the hell is wrong with me?!

I sat up again and grabbed the bottle.

Tamaki suoh's cologne... Damn him..!

For some reason, I had the urge to throw the bottle, but I knew if I did so, the bottle would shatter, and all the cologne inside it would go everywhere... I decided to put it up on my shelf so I wouldn't end up breaking it out of pure anger and jealousy... 

After a bit, I went downstairs to our music room to get my violin. The violin I had learned to play just because I've heard the violin is the perfect instrument to be paired with the piano. Tamaki being my best friend and the man I had a crush on, I thought it was only natural I'd get one, so I could practice with him or at least help him practice. In my mind, it would get me closer to him and closer to his heart as well... Little did I know that violin would be the death of me. Of course, I did get closer to Tamaki but not in the way I wanted... He thinks of me as nothing more than his best friend who would do anything for him, which is exactly what I am now, but I want to be more than that... Too bad you can never have what you want... Even if you're the greatest man on earth, you can't have everything you want... Love comes and goes, I suppose...

I grabbed my violin and my pack of music that I kept for our practice sections. Some were violin solos, while others were piano and violin duets. 

Sorrow... Sadness... Depression... Greef... Dispair... Music... Sad Romance... 

I grabbed the violin solo called Sad Romance by the composer Thao Nguyen Xanh and put it on my music stand, then I looked at my violin and sighed a bit. "Here we go..." (I linked the song at the top if you want to listen to it)

~Meanwhile~

~Tamaki's pov~

I was sitting in Kyoya's living room talking with Fuyumi when I heard a violin. 

Sad Romance..? Is that Kyoya..?

I looked at Fuyumi and excused myself before going to the music room. I saw Kyoya playing his violin while tearing up a bit.

Kyoya... I upset him... He's not sick... He didn't want us to see him upset... I feel bad...

I stood there watching him play, staying at the door. 

When he had finished, he lowered his violin and saw me, "Tamaki..?"

I went to him, "are you sure you're ok..?"

He nodded to me, "I just wanted to play a bit; I like this piece, so I played it" he gave me a gentle smile. "Also, I'm sorry for kicking you out of my room... I wasn't in the mood to speak to you, and thanks for the cologne. I'm probably not going to use it but thank you."

I nodded with a smile on my face, "yeah, no problem!"

So I didn't upset him; he didn't feel good! I'm glad...

~Part 19 end~