Chapter 1: Starting Over

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"I really think you'll like him."

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Life had an odd way of offering a chance at starting over...a chance that was frightening, confusing, and oh so beautifully perfect.

No one told me how hard starting over would be. Even I would admit that deep down, I knew I couldn't just forget about the last three years that I had spent with him. On the outside, three years didn't seem like THAT long. When it came to a committed relationship, though, three years was like a lifetime. I had given everything I had into the relationship. I put all of my love, soul, and heart out on the line, thinking that he was my forever.

Or, at least, I thought that he was my forever.

I was convinced that "Dear John," letters were only things that happened in the movies. That dreaded note that comes in the mail from your significant other, letting you know that they were ending things in writing. Except my "Dear John" letter was a bit out of the ordinary. It didn't show up on my doorstep because he was away at war. No, my beloved ex-boyfriend had left it on the counter in our shared kitchen. He didn't even have the decency to tell me in person.

I never thought that was the way things would end. One fucking piece of paper telling me that he didn't want what we had anymore. No explanation as to why or what had led to that moment. Just a written declaration that he didn't love me anymore.

And I hadn't seen him or heard from him since.

It had devastated me. I'm woman enough to admit that. All of a sudden, my purpose for a future and living had become blurred. My goals in life were suddenly a gray area, and I had to reconstruct my future completely. The breakup took away much more than just a steady boyfriend. It robbed me of hope, happiness, and sensibility.

I had lost any and all faith in love.

My friends and family were beyond worried about me following the split. I could see it in their eyes, even in the midst of my breakdown. I basically fell off the face of the Earth. I wouldn't talk to anyone, not even the people that I trusted most. I quickly fell into a heavy life cycle that they all knew wasn't healthy for me. I got up, I went to work (if I had any freelance jobs at the time), and returned home, only to start the cycle over again. I felt stupid for letting myself become that dependent on someone else. I felt even more stupid for thinking that there was no chance that we'd ever breakup.

They saw the emptiness in my eyes. They felt the distress in my movements. They heard the sadness of my soul. The could sense the panic of my heart that still belonged to him.

My friends and family were there for me every step of the way, offering their assistance and help wherever they saw fit. They were horrified that the man that even they had grown to trust had left me without a trace. It was confusing, and raised many questions that possibly might never be answered. Eventually, (and much to their relief) I slowly began to rise from the rock bottom I had undoubtedly hit. My personality came back to light piece by piece, I began to enjoy the things that I had before. I didn't turn down all of my friends' invites to go out for drinks or go out to dinner anymore. I let myself have fun again with the people around me.

I had started to heal.

I realized that I did have a chance to make the best out of this situation. This heartbreak wouldn't kill me like I thought it would. I could still have a good life, even if the only man that I had ever loved wasn't around anymore. I could still be myself without him...I was just afraid that a part of me would always be missing. Before I knew it, a year had gone by and I was still standing. I had pretty much returned to normal, and as far as everyone knew, I was completely over it.

Sincerely, Sinclair || Sinclair Bryant x Reader ||Where stories live. Discover now