Holding Back

XVIII

[ chapter 18 ]

march 21
5:30 p.m
boca raton, florida

- - - - -

It's been a couple weeks since my last conversation with Ariana. I'll admit it, I miss her like crazy. Billie and Zayn and have came over numerous times in attempt to cheer me up but nothing really works. I felt like there was a big part of my heart missing.

Actually, fuck that. A part of my entire soul was missing. And I know who's carrying it around with her. I think everyone does.

Ariana cleared the air on the Zach Sang interview and said what she was supposed to. It shook the entire world, them now figuring out two big time stars used to date and that Ariana Grande was now a confirmed bisexual.

Luckily, there was a lot more support than hate. People were confused on why I was so silent, but I couldn't find any words to say. Ariana said everything that needed to be said, what more do I need to add on?

Nothing. People just want drama.

I've been very lowkey. People have noticed that, ever since my tour ended. It was nice, honestly. The silence. My bandmates and I had a civil agreement to take a month or so to ourselves and then jump into another album after. Nothing is confirmed now, so we're currently just taking a small break.

A couple days after the talk with my ex, I decided to fly back home and visit my parents. They were overjoyed when I surprised them and honestly it made me feel a little better. They've 100% been the ones keeping me in higher spirits.

Anyways, it's currently around 5:30 and my parents are downstairs cooking dinner. I was chilling in my old bedroom, just scrolling through TikTok when I got a message. From someone I wasn't expecting.

banana bitch 🍌 - Hey
Read 5:31 PM

me - wassup c, you good ?
Read 5:31 PM

banana bitch 🍌 - Yeah, i heard that youre in boca and im back home in miami for a little . Wanted some time with family after the tour. Do you think i could come over ?
Read 5:33 PM

I was honestly surprised. After everything happened, she kept her distance and we didn't really talk much for the rest of the tour. I mean, she was there when I needed her especially after the whole Ariana and Mikey thing; but other than that she didn't speak to me.

me - sure, do you need my address ?
Read 5:33 PM

banana bitch 🍌 - No, i weirdly remember it. I'll be there soon :)
Read 5:34 PM

me - ight see you soon :)
Read 5:34 PM

I sighed, closing out of my phone and leaning further back into my pillow. As I stared at the ceiling, I thought about everything that's been happening in my life recently. I wonder how Ariana's been.

ariana's pov:

I'm. Fucking. Miserable.