Reason to this madness (Jay Halstead x reader)

Tranquility (30)

Back at the district, I was taken to the break room since I had to make a statement. Kim gave me a blanket and poured me some tea and sat with me. She asked me a few questions about what had happened.

"Ok honey that's all for now" she rubbed my back once she was done.

I gave her a forced smile before I looked down at my hands and body that was covered in blood. His blood. "Y/n." I heard Jay's voice. I got up and he hugged me over the blanket. He kissed me on the forehead. "I'm sorry, they wouldn't let me talk to you until you'd given your statement."

"Can we go home please?" I whispered to him.

"Yeah, of course, I just have to write something up quickly, give me 10 minutes." He was about to walk out but he stopped at the door beside Kim and they both turned back to look at me.

I was sat back down and staring at my hands and clothing again. "Hey, why don't you come with me I have some spare clothes in the locker room. I'll help you clean up." Kim extended her hand out to me.

Jay thanked Kim and gave her a kiss on the head before walking out. I followed Kim to the locker rooms. Kim grabbed a few towels and started helping me clean up the blood. It was silent for a while before I spoke. "I don't know how you guys do it all the time."

Kim gave me an apologetic look. "I'd be lying if I said it was easy. My first few intense cases had me really shaken up, I think I almost handled them worse than you did." She took a deep breath. "I guess we just learn to deal with it at some point, or at least hide it better. "

I gave her a soft smile. "I'm just glad it's all finally over... for real this time."

We walked over to her locker and she pulled out some of her spare clothes. As I was getting dressed Jay came in.

"You ready to go, babe?" He leaned on the lockers. I finished pulling the shirt over myself.

"Yes please." I sounded desperate. "Thank you so much Kim, I'll wash them and give them back to you as soon as I can."

"Oh please don't worry about it, the outfit suits you better anyways." She winked at me.

I gave her a big hug. "Thank you."

I walked over to Jay and placed myself under his arm so his arm was over my shoulder. He smiled at the gesture.

———

During the drive home I didn't stop holding Jays hand even though that meant that he was using my hand to change gears. And once we arrived and got out of the car I was glued to his side again. We walked into the apartment and went over to the couch. I buried myself in Jay's arms.

"Baby are you ok?" Jay asked me a little confused at my clinginess.

I sat up and looked at him. "Both nights, with Damien, the thing that I was most afraid of wasn't dying Jay, I was scared I was never going to see you again." I wiped a few tears from my eyes. "When he caught me and I saw him lift up the knife, I guess a part of me thought I wouldn't see you again, and all the memories from the first time he took me came flooding back to me. I was terrified in the car Jay because of how I'd left things with you." I confessed to him.

He put his arm around me and gently pulled me down to his chest. "I was never going to let that happen. I won't ever let that happen." He kissed my head.

That night I fell asleep in his arms. He carried me to bed and made sure I was glued to him the whole night.