The Last Roger (COMPLETED STORY)

Part 9: Trauma? Never heard of it

(song: In the Chapel In The Moonlight by Kitty Kallen)

Steve knew a guy to lay low with. For the first time in a few days, I was able to shower. All the debris, blood, and sweat washed away off my skin revealing my soft skin. The shower was nice but being stuck in my head wasn't. Coming out of the shower, I fidget with my engagement ring on my ring finger that had miraculously survived all of the events of the past few days. "Who's the special guy?" Asks an unfamiliar voice. Looking up, I'm met with Steve's friend. Sam Wilson, a war veteran. That's all that Steve gave to me on the drive to here "Oh...It's an old ring." I reply as my hands drop to my side "Oh. I'm sorry." He replies sympathetically. Shaking my head, I seat myself at his bar in his kitchen "It's ok. You didn't know. He died a long time ago. I'm not sure why I'm still wearing it. I just put in on the other day and this all happened..." I pause myself midsentence "Sorry, You don't need to listen to me ramble on." He shakes his head as he goes into the kitchen "No. I'm fine with it. It seems like you want to get it off your chest. I'm all ears."

I smiled at him. "Thank you. Not for just listening but for allowing us to lay low here." He shrugs "It's not a problem. Do you want to clean that?" Pulling out a few cleaning supplies, he pushes them towards me. I fidget with the ring in my hand "Do you think it's weird to still have an engagement ring to a guy who died 70 years ago?" He leaned on his arms as he spoke "No. It just means you loved the guy." I take the cleaning supplies to wash away some of the grime that had formed on it from the past few days. "How did you meet him?" Sam asked.

I smile as I use a brush to clean it better "Steve knew him first. Steve was always getting picked on and James would protect Steve. Steve introduced me to James but nothing clicked. All the girls in town loved James and he was all for it. That is...till I was almost mugged. It was dark out. I was coming home from work when a few guys tried to come up to me. James swooped in and walked me home. After that, he would always wait by my work to walk me home. A few nights after doing this, he invited me out for Ice cream. Then the next time, dancing. After a few more of our dates, it didn't take much for me to realize that I had fallen in love with him and he did too. We wanted to get married sooner but we were both trying to figure out the best way to tell Steve when he got drafted. On the day of his departure, we told Steve. He wasn't even fazed by it which was a huge relief to me. James proposed to me there on the docks. He promised that he would come back..."

I stop brushing and remember the day "When someone died then in the war, you would just get a telegram. But if you lost more than one person in your family...military men would show up at your door. It was a telegram for James but two military men for Steve." Sam stayed silent the entire time. Not questioning me. He just sat there and listened "I was a wreck after both of their deaths and didn't feel that I had a purpose of being here anymore...but the military came to me again. This time offering me to become a super-soldier. I needed a purpose here so I immediately signed up. They tried using other soldiers for this project but none of them made it. They thought since Steve and I shared close DNA, it might work on me. Which they were...right. I help form SHIELD while going from one war to the next...though looking back on it, especially given what we're doing now, I should have never joined that program."

"Why?" Sam asked to keep the conversation going "This serum..." I ran my fingers over my veins in my right forearm "...is a curse." He looked at me funny, "Why's that?" My mind wandered back to the pictures "I can't age." "But Steve can..." He started up "Steve's serum wasn't perfected like mine. I can't die unless you put a bullet between my eyes. I've seen the world. I've lived my life. People are not meant to live this long." As I finished cleaning the ring, Sam handed me a towel "So you feel that you wasted your life?" I slide my ring back on "Yes, I've spent the last 70 years of my life fighting in a war. For what? Sure I probably helped a few people here and there but in the end, I wasn't helping SHIELD. I was helping hydra."

Sam puts away the cleaning supplies and starts making some breakfast "Why don't you retire after all of this?" I chuckle darkly "And do what? I'm a soldier. I know I hate the war..." Sam looked up from the eggs he just pulled out "but you feel like it's a part of you now? You can't stop the fight?" Steve had been eavesdropping on the last bit of my conversation. He didn't mean to but I hadn't opened like this to anyone in a very long time. He never wanted this life for me. He never thought it was a life that I had in my future. If there was a way to change it, he would wish he could.

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