═
February 27, 2021
| 7:16 AM GMT |
real lifeLee stretched, feeling some bones on their back crack a little. They sit up, noticing they fell asleep on the couch in the living room. They're alone, but noises can be heard from the kitchen. Kristin must be making breakfast. Phil is either with her, streaming or recording.
Standing up, Lee cracks their knuckles. They grab their phone from the coffee table where it's charging on a powerbank and pocket it in their hoodie. They probably fell asleep on the couch while watching the documentary. No biggie, they've slept on a banig before, that's objectively harder than a couch. They walk to the kitchen door, opening it slowly to see Kristin making eggs and bacon while Phil is...
He's cooking rice. A packet of rice. Two packets lay empty on the kitchen counter, indicating that Phil's put in two more before Lee entered. They watch in horror as Phil measures six cups of water and dumps it in with the rice. He isn't even using a rice cooker.
Lee looks at the coffee maker, debating on whether getting coffee is worth watching this atrocity to rice. They think not and turns on their heel, making sure Kristin nor Phil noticed them at all. They need to remember this isn't the Philippines anymore and that it's only a matter of time before the Westerners tried and possibly failed to cook rice for the Asian in the family.
Stepping back into the living room, Lee goes to look for their phone charger's plug. They brought it with them before starting their Netflix bonding night with Phil and Kristin, but they ended up using a powerbank instead. Now they need to charge the powerbank in case they'll need it in the future.
After finding the plug, Lee sticks it into the extension chord by the T.V. They leave it on the television stand and sits back down on the couch, pulling out their phone to tweet the crime happening in the kitchen.
xxx
| 7:24 AM GMT |
tired sib | lee_wats
holy shit i just saw phil cooking rice.
it was packet rice. there were 3
packets of rice in the fucking pot and
i feel so offended and now i miss those
13 fucking kilo sacks of rice and
a rice cooker. why don't we have a
goddamn rice cooker??-
➥ frankie | frankiestein
ikr?? like, come on, i knew my
dad's been in england for
like 13 years but srsly??
make actual decent rice pls
➥ tired sib | lee_wats
god, babe, idek how the fuck
ive survived without rice yet.
its been like weeks or some shit
since i got here in england
and i am somehow still sane
➥ frankie | frankiestein
you love bread a lot so
ig that helps. plus youre like
obsessed with potatoes so
that's your carb intake
➥ tired sib | lee_wats
who cares bout my carb intake?
point is i cannot live on
packet fucking rice. thats
probably heresy or smth-
➥ chill bro | dombau_
this is why i went grocery shopping
the first moment i could.
i even bought spoons
too in case karl didnt have some
➥ tired sib | lee_wats
oh dear god. if i dont get a spoon,
im gonna use my fucking hands.
i cant even imagine them
cooking fish and expecting me
not to eat with my hands
➥ chill bro | dombau_
and their food is really bland.
do they even use salt? spices?
how do they eat that tasteless goop?
➥ tired sib | lee_wats
lmao the first time i cooked
eggs for myself phil asked me
why i was using so much
salt and pepperxxx
February 28, 2021
| 1:36 PM GMT |
real lifeLee stares inside the broom closet, looking at the plastic broom and dustpan. He does not like this at all. Why is it so small? The bristles look like an enlarged, weird, sort-of toothbrush. Where were those brooms made from some kind of grass? They were bigger and probably a fuck ton more effective.
Grabbing the plastic broom by the handle, Lee brings it out of the closet to show Kristin who asked him to get it.
"Kristin," Lee calls out into the hallway. "Please, for the love of all that is holy, tell me this isn't the broom."
Kristin pokes her head out from one of the doors in the hall, the one leading to the kitchen. She looks at the broom in his hands and then at Lee's face where he's hopefully correctly projecting his despair. He seems to have either succeeded or failed miserably because Kristin is laughing.
"I take it your brooms look different?" She asks, what is possibly amusement in her voice. He's getting better at interpreting others' emotions, but he still has a lot more to learn. Luckily, Kristin doesn't seem to mind.
Lee pouts, holding up the plastic broom in his hand. "If you can even fucking call this a broom, then yes, our brooms are completely different."
Kristin giggles, taking the offered plastic broom. "I figured. You should order some off Amazon so we can try it as a family and see which is better, yeah? It'll be like the rice cooker."
A giant smile appears on Lee's face, his head nodding vigorously in response. He likes to share his knowledge, and he especially gets excited when talking about his culture. It made him feel at home in this completely different country.
xxx
| 8:23 PM GMT |
tired sib | lee_wats
tommyinnit is dead and
im about to cry my heart out
singing the lmanberg theme song
because i am,,, brockenxxx
| 8:30 PM GMT |
Trixtin | trixtin
Our niece just watched Tommy's
stream, and the moment it ended,
she sat there staring. She is now in her
room and I can hear her singing the
L'manberg anthem.-
➥ user 1 | user1
niece??-
➥ user 2 | user2
SHE'S COPING MUMZA PLS--
➥ tired sib | lee_wats
KRISTIN I WAS VIBING-
➥ Triztin | trixtin
Sorry, Lee! You're singing is
very good though!
➥ tired sib | lee_wats
IM SOBBING PLS-
I LITERALLY GAINED 9K
FOLLOWERS WHAT IS THIS SHIT??xxx
| 8:42 PM GMT |
tired sib | lee_wats
twt notifs make anxiety go brrr.
srsly tho, im not interesting guys.
im just a fucking teen who just so
happens to be related to you know who-
➥ chill bro | dombau_
voldemort?
➥ tired sib | lee_wats
fuck off
➥ chill bro | lee_wats
in all seriousness though,
you alright?
➥ tired sib | lee_wats
tommyinnit canonically died,
the internet now knows im related to
phil and kristin, i am being misgendered
by the internet, and i probs need to
come out or die inside. wat do you think??
➥ chill bro | dombau_
well aight then-
➥ frankie | frankiestein
LMAO MUMZA TWEETED ABOUT YOU
➥ tired sib | lee_wats
FRANKIE THIS ISNT A LUGHING MATTER.
THE INTERNET WILL SEE AND JUDGE
MY FUCKING SHITPOSTS PLS-
➥ frankie | frankiestein
SUFFER═
YOU ARE READING
What Are The Chances? | platonic
Fanfiction"𝘐'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘶𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘶...