fundamentals of love ; james sirius potter

14. it feels so scary getting old

Vonnie and Dae live in a coastal town because where else would two women bordering on the line of being millennials that find Friends funny live?

I sound a little bit like an asshole but between us younger cousins, that's the running joke. We love them both a lot and their house and lives are more put together than ours will ever be. Vonnie was always the fun cousin when we were younger, but slowly as we aged, she became the mature more quiet one and Jimmy became louder and stole her thing.

I'm laying on a beach towel in the backyard that looks over the ocean. The one thing that our nonna passed down to us, is the fact we tan both easily and when we do, it's as if we were always meant to be that golden shade. My eyes glance down, the floral white bikini really contrasts against my olive skin today.

Hugh's beside me, trying out old cassettes. He puts on a Jimmy Buffet one and Margaritaville starts to play. "Ellie," he says to me, turning and blocking the sun. "Ty went on a date with Lily."

"What?" I open my eyes, and I see how upset Hugh looks. I'm sitting up and throwing a shirt on. "I didn't know that was a thing."

Hugh shrugs. "I didn't either. Most of the time I talk to her, it's so easy to tell she's in love with Scorpius Malfoy. But, I heard he started dating Rose Weasley in the beginning of the summer," he explains to me the whole complicated web of relationships, then he gets to Ty. "Maybe she moved on and, well, Ty was there for her."

I nod, sympathetically. "You like Lily? She is really pretty and James tells me she's very smart."

My words are not right because Hugh looks surprised and almost pained after, so I wait for him to correct me on whatever I've gotten wrong.

His hand picks up a dandelion and he starts to pick at it, not looking at me and focusing on the flower. "I don't like Lily that way."

"Oh," I mutter, scratching my jaw. "Ty's been your best friend since forever, Hughy. He'll make time for you guys don't worry."

"Ellie."

"What?"

When he looks up, he looks afraid. "I just feel, sometimes, that I might," he's slow with his words, trying to get them out but being unsure on how to say it. "I. . . well, maybe, like Ty . . . more than just a friend."

"That's cool," I say, without even thinking about it. He's never talked about this before and I don't know if he wants to go on but . . . "You feel that way for a while?"

"I liked Carina when we kissed and all that," he says, shrugging. "But after that ended, well, I just started to realize that what I felt for Ty just wasn't . . ."

"Strictly platonic," I finish for him.

"Yeah."

"You wanna talk about it more?"

He shakes his head.

"That's okay," I say, standing up and offering him my hand. "Let's go eat now. Vonnie made cinnamon buns and they're nice and cold at the moment."

While we're walking to the dinner table, I don't miss the smile on Hugh's face. Maybe I feel as if my words weren't that great, but they were more than enough for him. He'd needed to tell someone and I'm glad I was the person he came to.

So, I put my arm around him, and he doesn't fight. I think he's been needing someone to hug him for a while because even when we reach the table, he's lingering beside me. In my head, I make a mental note to take him to the movies and consume too much popcorn and pop. Nothing gets Hugh going like that, he's a complete cinephile like nonna.