fundamentals of love ; james sirius potter

extra | miss americana and the heart break prince, part 2

It's the day before Christmas when Hudson invites her over.

She has his gift under her arm, Holly had spent last Sunday carefully packaging into it in a deep red wrapping paper that matched the lining of his robes. Inside was two tickets to his favourite team, the Chuddley Cannons, and she'd taken up knitting and made him a red scarf. So, she's standing in front of his door in a black jacket and white mittens, waiting for him to lead her out of the frozen tundra into some warmth.

"Hi," he greets her after she waits nearly eight years, he's opening the door and letting her in. "It was really short notice, so I was scared you wouldn't be able to come in."

"I wasn't really doing anything, don't worry."

This was a lie, her mother's side of the family was over, and she'd caught the disappointing look on her mother's face when she'd asked to come over.

As she walks inside, she's greeted by dark floors and rich-coloured carpets. His house is exactly like the ones in the Christmas movies, with the smell of cookies in the air, everything decorated in a perfectly curated maximalist way, she's aware there's a book discarded on every table, and she thinks it's the large Christmas tree that brings it all together.

It's also extremely empty.

But, Hudson doesn't say anything and she doesn't want to either, so she lets him keep leading her into the house. Her eyes soak in all the family portraits and she thinks that none of his siblings look like his mother, they're all replicas of their father. His mother is really pretty and by the way, she smiles, you can tell she's nice and would rub your back when you're crying. His father seems scary, she's a bit startled by the contrast between his mother and father.

He's grabbed whatever he's been looking for and they're back at the door again, putting on shoes and she's following and following when all she wants is to sit down beside him and act as she might possibly be able to live inside his world. But, he's leading her to the garage talking about how excited he is and she's just nodding and nodding--

In the garage sits a pretty blue car, Holly's at a loss of words because she's aware it's a very nice car, but she's never been interested enough to be able to describe or compliment it further.

But, he's talking. "It's a 1970 Camaro, my dad loves cars, I'm actually named after the Hudson Hornet. Dad has this red mustang that he's had since he was a teenager, my mum says that the mustang was their first child. But, they helped me buy this in the summer, and--we'll take her out, then you and I can drive away anywhere we want."

And, everything she's been pushing away finally settles in. Holly looks around at the empty garage, she remembers the empty house, and she thinks about the fact he hasn't told anyone about them when for her when the entirety of the break she's been praising him like she's some god. She doesn't know what future he's talking about because she doesn't want her life to be built around lies and secrets, she wants something honest and real and maybe that's never going to happen if she's with him.

He's kept her like a secret while she's been keeping him like an oath.

Holly's grabbing the present she left on the hood of the car, feeling more used than she ever has. "I think, maybe, it's time you find someone else in these plans you've imagined," she tells him, feeling like he's just broken her heart when she was complicit in the crime. "It's getting late, I should be going home, uhm, here's your present. I hope you like it."

"What're you talking about," he asks, confusion running through. "Why would I find someone else?"

She frowns. "You really don't care?"