fundamentals of love ; james sirius potter

32. maybe now, it's time for the happily ever after

Nobody stays once the clock hits midnight, everybody's going to other parties because Jimmy's is just the first stop of the night. Jim can't resist going either, he likes having fun and being with people or else he gets too into his mind, so he tells me not to worry about cleaning up and to make sure Hugh and Ty are okay.

I tell him not to worry and the second he leaves the house, I connect my phone onto a speaker and play my ultimate sad playlist. Adele's singing about asking for a singular thing from her lover, while I load the dishwasher and pretend that if I make the house look brand new I'll be fine as well. With each Lysol wipe that's used and dust that's collected, I feel like it might all be fine.

And, I'm still stunned at what had happened with James, it's like a fever dream high in the quiet of the night. No one else witnessed it so I can't even ask someone to confirm that it had happened.

I glance up and just as the clock's about to hit one, the boys stumble in. They're laughing and their faces are flushed, they see me sitting on the floor wiping some pop that someone spilled but never bothered to clean up, and they're instantly grabbing brooms and dustpans, helping me without even asking if I want them to. That's what sticks out to me, seeing them do that, it just lets me know that they're going to do good in life, I don't have to worry.

When a person's willing to clean up a New Year's Party, you know that they're good to the core.

Hugh runs upstairs, saying he's going to change. Ty is beside me and I'm looking at him in curiosity, realising he's cut his hair shorter in a way that's neat and proper, something about him contrasts Hugh's messiness and I think they're like yin and yang in some way.

Ty catches my gaze.

I smile. "You know, I still remember you being the shortest kid in you," I say, "you've gotten so tall." It's such a normal thing to notice, but it's all I can think of.

"I guess time does that," he tells me, handing me an empty can to put in the plastic bag behind me. "I was always jealous of you guys when I was younger."

"Why?"

"Because everyone in your family is really nice."

"Is it different at home?"

" Yeah . . . it's really different."

And, I feel my heartache. "We love having you over, you're basically an honourary Peirce," I tell him, wanting to give him so many things and just adopt him into our family. "I really do mean that, Ty. You're a really good kid, I always get so proud of you whenever Hugh tells me about whatever you've accomplished."

He smiles, shaking his head as he turns a warm red. "You don't have to say that."

"I mean it," I insist. "I just know you'll go to the moon."

"What?"

"It's this thing my dad used to say to me," I say. "Going to the moon meant that I'd do some great things, whatever they'd be."

Ty scrunches his nose and brings the back of his hand to his eye. I'm instantly wrapping my arms around him, and he doesn't cry, he just shakes a little. "That means a lot," he whispers. "I know we barely ever talk Ellie, but, I've always thought you were the coolest person ever since I was younger. It means a lot more from you than anyone else."

I'm smiling because I don't think he understands how much his words mean as well, so maybe we're both even. "Write to me okay? I want a minimum of one letter a month letting me know how you're doing. And, don't be so hard on yourself, you're doing really good Ty. You need to remember that comparison is the thief of joy. Doesn't matter what others are doing as long you know you're doing your best."