Dangerous & Anew (Sequel to Inhaling Alongside You)✔️

Chapter Five: To Be A Man-Two

The three basis of life; love, money, and survival. These are entrusted with our faith and competence. These basis fill a vital void we humans so graciously build for ourselves. I say this with the up most sarcasm. With each of those word's, only two have more than one syllable, money and survival. I say this because, we have to work twice as hard when it comes to survival and money. Where as love, it seemingly can stand on its own. All we has to do is believe.

She told me to be a man, but be my own man. She has left me to contemplate. I have a decision to be a man, and face my avoided trespasses and trespassers. Even if I decide to man up, how will my family perceive it? Will I even be able to look Joseph in those seaweed eyes of his and speak my mind? Or will I walk away, as I always do, heavy in heart and unheard.

Inhaling deeply, I take a quick glance at the mirror across the room-another battle of mine staring back at me. The battle many have come to notice, but I have denied. Ivory spotting aligned along the nape of my neck and lower end of my torso. For months I have tried to figure this out and maybe even stop this process, but I have proven failure. There's nothing I can do about this. I've been capable of hiding it, but obviously my tricks aren't working. People are noticing and I don't think I can hide it for much longer.

Another heavy exhale. I have a gamut of problems with not one solution. I would question my life, but I would be questioning God. I move onward with the thought and belief that God knows what he is doing. I trust him.

Turning away, I grab the cold doorknob and twist it carefully. Slipping out into the hallway, I check my surroundings for a Jackson. Instead of visual confirmation, I receive verbal confirmation coming from downstairs. By the sounds of things, the verbal conversation is not at all pleasant. My thoughts travel to Jesse, remembering her emotional exit earlier. I hope that she is not a participant in this argument. I don't need another reason to worry.

Traveling down the stairs, step by step, the voices become clearer, giving away their owners. Joseph, Katherine, Latoya, and Jesse participants of a verbally heated match for authority. Joseph, of all three is seemingly the angriest as his daggers are glued on Jesse, who is just as fused. Latoya, a new comer of this unfortunate reunion, is the first to spot me as I quietly enter. Disappointment is only half of what I feel as I glance around the room. A family room-that is everything but.

I avoid Latoya's eyes, and continue watching the scene, Katherine nearly begging Joseph to calm himself. Jesse still holding her ground as Joseph continues throwing insults. A few minutes pass before the six cocoa eyes follow Latoya's and resemble her gaze. Neither of them dares to speak. I'm sure Joseph doesn't even care to, but Katherine has something in her eyes that tells me something she verbally won't. She is apologizing. For whatever reason, mother is apologizing.

She understands the pressure I'm under. She knows the circumstances I have trudged through, but she also knows that all she can offer is a sincere apology. I commend her for that, but she isn't the one that owes me an apology.

"I don't even know why I'm here. I'm just wasting breath with you people" Latoya scuffs, breaking the tension brewing silence.

All eyes fall on her. Blowout curls; dyed jet black, highlighter caramel complexion, overly dramatic maroon and gold themed attire, and bold make-up. This is my new older sister. This sister I grew up with and the one Janet has to look up to. I barely recognize her. Aside from her obvious breast implantation, Latoya has obviously changed. I frankly don't like her change.

Joseph's rage that was originally appointed at Jesse is now given fully to Latoya as he crosses over to her for commentary.

"Girl, you will not disrespect me in my own home! Look at you! You done went and got your damn chest done up! Now you're spreading your legs for cameras? What is this, some damn rebellion? Just like your damn brother over there, ungrateful as hell" He spits, eying her with complete disgust.