Dangerous & Anew (Sequel to Inhaling Alongside You)✔️

Chapter Eight: In The Heat Of The Moment

Life is a vast road of twist and turns. It is composed of success and failure. One is always laboring on having the ball of life fall in their court, never actually knowing if and what one should do with that ball. With life, one has to first comprehend that days will not always be dark, but they will not always presume light either. Knowing this pertinent knowledge, one must learn the skill of adaptation and settlement. That means adapting to the darkness in order to settle in the light.

My darkness, my insecurities. A man who has everything, but still falls victim to old roots. The old roots that caused his isolation. The same old roots that deemed everyone around the man, incoherent to his pain. I thought I escaped those roots, but alas, I'm still entangled within them-no way out.

Broken skin, the purest of ivory and caramel. Each blotch wider than the other. The darkest of my chestnut foundation is no match for the rapid spotting. Doctor after doctor has admitted failure, there is no cure. Gloves, calve-length socks, and surgical masks, all with which I hide behind. No knows, just a select few. I can't show the world, not yet-they wouldn't accept.

I know they won't.

"Michael, baby are you coming out any time soon?" Her voice stresses from the other side of the door.

I glance up at the mirror, struck with the man staring back. I've been in this bathroom for more minutes than I can count on two pairs of hands. It's been my routine. Most would call it strued, but I can't stop looking at myself. I want to, but I can't. The man staring back is, he's hideous. He's no man at all. He's not recognizable. From his blotches to his silly nose- he's no masterpiece. He's nothing.

Still struck with my reflection, I allow the commentary of my mental negativity. It feels good. Knowing that I acknowledge how despicable I am. This way, when others admit it, it won't hurt as much. Nope, no one can hurt me, if I acknowledge it at first.

"Baby... Please open the door, I'm getting worried" Her voice rings again.

If only she knew. How can she stand looking at me? She's a Belle and I'm forever the beast. How can she find me attractive, why? I'm obviously changing, and not for the better. My skin is becoming more and more transparent, and she seemingly hasn't taken notice. Maybe she has? Maybe she is just too considerate of my feelings to discuss it?

Oh dear Lord, help me.

"Michael, baby... Please" She exasperates from the other side.

Detouring from my thoughts, I tear away from the mirror and glance across the bathroom. On the other side of the door is the woman who adores me. But will she still adore me, the blotchy-ivory me? I'm scared, I'm absolutely terrified to reveal myself. This is something new for me. I am well aware that I can't hide this for long, the tabloids have already started taking notice, it will be a matter of time before Jesse does too.

Sighing heavily at me unfortunate circumstance, I cross the bathroom and pause at the door. My heart is pounding. My palms are clammy. I don't want to do this, but what choice do I have? She'll find out one way or another. But will she accept it?

Closing my eyes, I push away the negative thoughts. When I open my eyes again, my clammy hands begin turning the knob.

"You have a big ass nose boy, I bet a semi truck can fit up there, huh?" He teases taking a bite of his coffee cake.

I ignore him, glancing at the telephone. I'm hoping for her call. I need to hear her voice right now.

"I'm talking to you. I know you heard me, boy" His voice suddenly lowers.

Without giving eye contact, I force myself to speak.

"I don't care Joseph..." I nearly squeak, avoiding the most certain satisfactory smirk spreading his lips.