The way I feel for you

-Chapter 10 -

Jamie's P.O.V

I watched as Maya stepped onto stage with an electric guitar at hand. I taught her how to play when we were little, she seemed to love it. Grabbing onto the microphone stand, she sang the words to 'Good 4 u' by Olivia Rodrigo. It didn't take me in surprise at first, it was a really good song. Maya strummed the guitar hard, the noise echoing across the whole room. And that was when it hit me.

Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy
Not me, if you ever cared to ask
Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me
Baby, God, I wish that I could do that
I've lost my mind
I've spent the night cryin' of the floor in my bathroom
You're so unaffected I really don't get it
But I guess good for you

I froze at that very moment. Was this song about me? Was this why she wanted to get up and sing? She locked her gaze at me, still playing the bright blue guitar and singing. Removing her hair band, she started moving to the beat, not in a weird way, but seeing her up on stage singing and dancing reminded me who she really was. Maya Ashwick, the girl I fell for all those years ago. I don't even know if those feelings had worn off to this very day. 

Maybe I'm too emotional
But your apathy's like a wound in salt
Maybe I'm too emotional
Or maybe you never cared at all
Maybe I'm too emotional
Your apathy is like a wound in salt
Maybe I'm too emotional
Or maybe you never cared at all

What the hell was she saying? I heard everyone around me cheer but my guiltiness numbed the sound away. Was I supposed to ask her how she was doing back at the cabin? It wasn't my fault she left, but I couldn't help but wonder if it was? No it can't be.

 Every now and then, Maya's eyes locked with mine, reminding me that this song was clearly sang as a message for me to listen to. I lost myself in her beauty, the wild version of herself coming through in this very song. 

Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy
Not me, if you ever cared to ask
Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me
Baby, like a damn sociopath
I've lost my mind
I've spent the night cryin' on the floor of my bathroom
You're so unaffected I really don't get it
But I guess good for you

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

Everyone of my friends cheered uncontrollably as the song came to an end. I noticed Ellie screaming the loudest "YES MAY! GO GIRL!"

 Nausea filled my throat, I made an attempt to swallow it down but it kept rising. Maya ran her fingers through her long, golden hair, beaming with pride and joy. She ran down the steps and pulled Lottie and Ellie into a tight squeeze, they seemed to be proud of her. 

As soon as all the attention towards Maya calmed down, I pulled her outside the room, jamming into her wrist like she did with me before. Quietly, I shut the door tight, hoping no one would realise we left. 

"What the hell was that?" I asked, letting go of her wrist. 

"Pshh- wasn't it obvious?" She took two steps back "That was me sending you a message,"

I laughed mockingly, standing my ground as Maya looked me up and down "Unaffected? You think I'm unaffected?"

Maya had a shameful but strong look in her eyes. I felt the nausea returning back, I hated seeing her this way, then again, she was the one who ended it. "Screw that! How would you know how I  felt in that situation? I-"

"Maya you were the one who left!" I yelled, leaving her in complete silence. I placed my hands on my hips. Tears started to form in her eyes, sniffling every breath she took. 

"What the hell do you want me to do?" I said, lowering my tone a bit.

Maya's arms were crossed, we shared a moment of complete stillness. No noise, just the feeling of my heart thundering to hear her response. I thought about everyone on the inside of the room who didn't even notice we were gone, how they would feel if they even saw us out here. Maya looked to the side for a second before mumbling something I couldn't hear.

She walked towards me and pressed her lips against mine, striking me in surprise. I put my hand around her waist, letting me become mesmerised by her touch for a moment. I felt my feelings for Lottie melt away to the ground. As long as Maya was here, I knew who my heart belonged to. The kiss ended as quickly as it started, she pulled away from it but remained in my arms. She gazed into my hazel eyes, hesitating for a moment. I couldn't let her leave again. Without thinking, I pulled her back towards me, our lips meeting again, I closed my eyes and felt her fingers stroke my face. Slowly, we parted; I felt a rush of guilt fill my veins. What did I just do?

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I was so excited to write this ngl. This was one of the chapters i had originally planned out earlier. So sorry for the late update! I've had a lot of stuff to do lately. 

Also thank you for all the support! We had managed to reach over 400 reads on my first ever Jottie book which is just mental. I cannot thank you all enough!

Again, sorry for the late update! <3