Into The Orchard

II

When I struggled to open my eyes, I realized that morning was already setting in. Everything hurt from the uncomfortable position in which I had fallen asleep. My neck, however, was exceptionally sore. My whole body was bent in a strange way. The sitting position was not the most comfortable one. My neck hurt. I was so sleepy that I did not want to raise my head from the hard object on which I was resting. With my eyes squinted, I began to look around the room I was in. I quickly realized that I was in a car. Since it was a car, it definitely belonged to Rayan. Yes... I remembered now. He came to pick me up at Karkarom very late at night. However, where was the boy? I slowly lifted my head, which was even starting to crack with pain. My neck was burning with pain and I myself squirmed with displeasure. As soon as I moved, the object I was sleeping on moved. I turned towards it to investigate what this mysterious and extremely uncomfortable object was. I was a little surprised when my eyes caught sight of the sleeping Rayan. The object that was pinning me in the back of the neck was the doberman's rock-hard shoulder. How long had I been asleep like that? How long had he been asleep? Where were we? I tried to remember everything chronologically. So I began by remembering when a high school student called me during my late dinner with Kevin.

I remember well that the boy spoke little for the next hour. He had a reason for that. After all, he was jealous. It made me a little nervous, though. On the one hand, I knew Kevin had feelings for me, but the basis of whatever it was was unclear to me. Love at first sight? Personally, I don't believe in such nonsense. Unfortunately, people have come to equate infatuation with love. Probably all this pseudo-romance, stupid movies about love and idiotic love books were the cause of it. Society has been warped by a false understanding of the relationship between two people. For example, Kevin liked the movie Titanic. Jack fell in love with Rose at first sight and she fell in love with him after about three days. My fundamental question is, did Jack fall in love with a woman or with the prospect of breaking out of a low social class and moving to a higher one? Did Rose fall in love with Jack through the feelings he had for her, or did she fall in love at the prospect of breaking out of her terrible life? Maybe Rose needed three days of reflection to determine if she was ready to give up her life of luxury? Getting to the point: Did Kevin fall in love with me, or with some perspective I could give him?

I wasn't sure I possessed anything of value that Kevin was willing to fight for with as much fervor as Jack. Certainly Kevin was lonely. It made me wonder how much he might be hiding under that thick skin and fur. Maybe Kevin had the prospect of both of us becoming orphans after his father's marriage to my mother? Maybe Kevin wants to save both me and him from such a fate by giving us to each other? If I decide to study psychology in the future, maybe I will know the answer to all these questions that I ask myself. Until something, however, my head was filled with nothing but uncertainties. Uncertainties, and the pain of sleeping on the hard shoulder of a doberman.

Kevin was also rather unhappy about our parents' imminent wedding. Although he did not officially express his displeasure, some things could not be hidden. That didn't change the fact that neither I nor he would stand in the way of their happiness. This whole situation was almost unreal. Several real-life meetings, phone calls to each other, and frequent correspondence resulted in a sudden departure from the United States and moving in with basically strangers. Another example of romanticism distorting a sober view of reality. Did Gregory love Catleyn, or the prospect of ending his loneliness with the concomitant bonus of no competition for his descendant's inheritance of the estate? Did Catleyn love Gregory, or the prospect of getting back at my father while securing her and my future? Add to this mix the fact of the vast distance that separated them. It is impossible to say that this relationship was not fascinating and exotic to them. For anyone it would have been, even for me. The thought was and is appealing. The question is whether it lasted and whether it is built on a solid foundation. Maybe Kevin had subconsciously started playing the same game as our parents? If that was the case, it was unfair to me. I had no intention of participating in any such games. However, I didn't know how conscious Kevin was or if that was even the point of it all. The truth is that every child fears their parent's relationship with a new person. You can lurk that nothing will change in anyone's life and it will only get better. But that is not the truth. Every child is selfish in this regard; no one wants to share what is theirs. The prospect of losing the person who should be the most important in your life seems terrifying. I, in my own way, have already lost that person. Catleyn has changed a lot since coming to this country. She had become less and less like her mother in her behavior. Now she was firstly Gregory Von Rostov's fiancée and only secondly Maxwell Porter's mother. I didn't know quite how close a relationship Kevin had with his father. I can bet, however, that he feared the same things I feared. Maybe Kevin, through his "feelings for me," wants to save us both? That our presumed love, would compensate for the loss of our parents. In this case, there was also an element of spice. Catleyn and Gregory were attracted to long-distance love, which was forbidden for obvious reasons. Could it be that Kevin is attracted to a forbidden affection for his half-brother? All of this I can only throw into the conjecture drawer. To none of the above questions, do I know the answer. I've told myself in the past that I shouldn't dwell so much on such topics. My tendency to over-interpret certain facts and over-analyze has often led to a poor understanding of situations or a skewed view of reality.