Glimpses of Yesterday (Isla Contejo #2)

Chapter 25

Hi! I just want to remind everyone that you are very free to leave this story if you're not liking Arsen (which is obviously the leading man. lagpas kalahati na po tayo sa story so sa mga nag-e-expect po r'yan na baka may iba pang male lead, sorry, but this is Jaeda AND Arsen's story) anymore. I did not shove this story to anyone's throat. No one's forcing you to still be here. You can curse Arsen all you want. It's fine dahil kamura-mura naman talaga siya. Kung nawawalan na kayo ng gana dahil sa ugali ni Arsen, you are free to drop the story :) I just also want you to be aware that I build my characters the way I want them to be built. Hindi ako para gumawa ng character na gago na hindi matuturuan ng leksyon. They will learn sa paraang gusto ko. On-going pa lang po ang story. Chill lang tayo. Kung gusto n'yo po talaga ng almost perfect and prince charming kind of male lead sa umpisa pa lang, you can't find them in my stories. I intentionally make my characters flawed (usually at the first half of the story) to teach them a lesson and to somehow make you realize things as the story progresses :)

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TANDANG-TANDA ko pa kung paano ako umalis sa condo noong makipaghiwalay ako kay Arsen. Agad akong pumara ng taxi nang tuluyan akong makalabas ng building. I called Ciello and asked her if I could stay in her condo for the night and she agreed. My tears kept on falling as I was riding the cab.

Para akong nanghina at na-drain lahat ng energy dahil sa pagtatalo namin ni Arsen na tuluyang nauwi sa hiwalayan. I didn't want to break up with him because God knows how much I love him! But that was the only way for us not break each other more.

Punong-puno na ako. Matagal na akong nagtitimpi at siguro, na-trigger na lang din ang desisyon kong makipaghiwalay sa kaniya dahil sa mga sinabi niya at sa pagiging makasarili niya. Talagang inuna niya pang isipin 'yong trabaho niya roon sa tatay ni Jenneson kaysa sa 'kin? Sa akin na girlfriend niya at ilang taon niya nang kasama!

Ako 'yong naagrabyado. Ako 'yong nabastos. Pero kung tratuhin niya 'ko kanina, parang ipinaparamdam niya pa sa akin na sisirain ko na naman ang lahat ng plano at pangarap niya para sa sarili niya. I knew that his work was important for him and that he couldn't lose a big project like that, but how about me? Did he even think of me just for once?

Trabaho at tagumpay lang ba talaga ang importante para sa kaniya? Hindi ba ako importante? Naging importante man lang ba ako sa kaniya? Ilang taon kaming magkasama pero para siyang walang pakialam sa akin. Ni hindi man lang ako makaramdam ng suporta sa kaniya kanina. Ni hindi man lang nga niya ako k-in-om-fort. Hindi man lang naawa sa nangyari sa 'kin.

He kept seeing me as his rival; his competitor. When never in my life I did think of him that way. It was never my intention to compete with him or to steal his success. Hindi niya ba alam na sa tuwing pinag-iisipan niya ako ng gano'n ay nasasaktan ako? Siya lang ba ang may damdamin dito? Siya lang ba ang puwedeng sumama ang loob?

I was his girlfriend. Why couldn't he just view me that way? Why couldn't he just love and appreciate me for who I am? Bakit ba siya nai-insecure sa akin? E siya nga 'tong palaging nag-e-excel dahil sa sobrang galing at talino niya. I was never some kind of an outsider who would steal anything away from him.

Sa ka-insecure-an at pagiging makasarili niya, pinili niyang balewalain ang nararamdaman ko. Na para bang hindi ako nabastos. Ang sakit lang na parang wala talaga siyang pakialam sa nangyari sa akin.

"Itutuloy mo ba ang pagsasampa ng kaso kay Jenneson? Sasamahan kita," ani Ciello nang nasa condo unit niya na ako.

I sighed. I've already pondered about this when I was in the cab. I've decided. I might be being inconsistent with my thoughts, but as I think longer... I realized that it was Arsen that still mattered most to me. Tama na siguro 'yong naghiwalay na lang kami. I was still considering him. Even after everything... siya pa rin ang inaalala ko. Alam kong pinahahalagahan niya iyong project niya sa tatay ni Jenneson at ayoko namang mapahiya siya o ma-down na naman.