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"Falling in love with you, was the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life."
Is... is this real? Is this really about to happen? But... how?
Why?
After all this time...
After we made this official...
After we both got intimate...
Those words pierced right through my heart like a spear. This can't be happening again... am I... getting my heart broken...
all over again?
"Levi..."
I hadn't even realized I was crying until I felt a single tear kiss my lips. He wouldn't even look at me. He seemed like he didn't want to be here at all. No, more like... he didn't want me here.
"Listen to me for a second, brat,"
Do I? Or do I try to defend our relationship together.
"I-I can't go through this again..."
"Y/n, listen to me, please." his tone was getting more aggressive.
"No because whatever you say next is going to hurt me even more than it already did." I argued.
"Y/n." he groaned and threw his head back in distress. He slid his hand down his face before coming back to center with his eyes closed and his hands together in front of his face. I decided to obey him, and listen to his sorry excuses. "It was a mistake. You are much younger than me. And i've been loyal to my friendship with your father for all this time now. But, does that mean that I regret it?"
My heart thumped so loud I thought it might explode. In between his pause, I felt my faith slipping away from me, and I wanted to get away now before he could say anything else to hurt me even more.
He brought his head up and looked me directly into my eyes. It was quite freighting at first. Until he said...
"Of course I don't."
My eyes widened, trapped in gaze as those words came out of his mouth. But if he doesn't regret our relationship, then why did he say it was a mistake? I understand that it was risky with my father and even my other friends finding out, but what does this mean for us?
"S-So," I stuttered. "D-does that mean... you... still want to... be with me, then?"
He stared blankly at his glass for a minute, and crossed his legs. He took another sip before he responded. "I don't know."
And my heart dropped again. What does that even mean? There are so many mixed signals coming from him, i'm not even sure what the right thing to do is.
"Be honest with me, Levi. Please." I became more direct. I didn't want to burden him. I didn't want to be the cause of any of his problems either. So again, what is the right thing to do?
He flicked his eyes back at me, and let out a long, exhausting sigh.
"Honestly?" he asked and I shook my head. He looked away and finished the rest of his drink before getting up from the table. "I think you should go back home, and patch things up with your parents. Despite how much you don't like them, they are your parents. Figure that out first, and then we can go from there." he told me and walked back upstairs, locking himself in his office.
So that's it? Was that his way of breaking up with me? I didn't even know how to feel anymore. All though my mouth was open and tears were falling from my eyes, I wasn't sure if I was upset, sad, heartbroken, or happy that he wanted me to get along with my family.
He was right, though. I should go and apologize to my parents. This was this overwhelming guilt that I had felt this entire time being here, and I really should've apologized to them sooner.
And on top of that, as much as I might've been upset with my mom, I always wanted to have her back in my life. And get along with her, and do things I have always imagined doing with her if she were here with me. And now that she's back, maybe I could fulfill some of those missing pieces.
This entire time, and my entire life, I wanted to just focus on myself and do what I wanted to do with my life. I understand why my father acted the way that he did. He just wanted the best for me. He knew that having all these distractions in my life would keep me from doing well and going down the wrong path. And I'm ready to change that.
