After the Storm

Chapter 2: Numb

Arizona feels numb, unable to process anything that just happened; she doesn't want it to be real. Numbness quickly replaces itself with nausea; she feels utterly sick to her stomach.

"What did I do?" Arizona asks herself. "What did I just do?"

Arizona torments herself with questions that she's unable to answer; she doesn't know why things happened the way they did. The more she thinks about it, the worse she feels; her stomach feels like it's doing flips, her head is pounding, and combined with the overall heaviness in her heart, she can't remain standing. Arizona crashes to her knees, sobbing relentlessly.

The room is silent besides the rain pattering against the windows. Arizona appreciates the silence, but it gives her more time to think when she just wants her mind to quiet down. The thunder and lightening has stopped and it's just raining steadily; the storm outside is over, but it raged on inside.

A few moments later, the door opens and allows an uncomfortably bright light to fill the room. Although she knows it won't be, Arizona hopes that it's Callie who's come back to talk; but Callie has no reason to want to talk to her. Arizona spins around and recognizes the intruder as Lauren.

"Arizona?" Lauren calls, seemingly concerned. "Is everything okay?"

Arizona doesn't respond; Lauren's voice just nauseates her further. Instead, she stands slowly and folds her arms across her chest.

Lauren steps into the room and closes the door behind her. Arizona doesn't want to talk to her because she has absolutely nothing to say. Lauren approaches her swiftly and lays a hand on her shoulder. Arizona shrugs off Lauren's hand, feeling virtually burned by the touch, and steps back.

"I'm fine," Arizona says, her voice full of contempt.

"How did Callie take it?" Lauren asks, acting as if this situation was a casual, minor inconvenience.

"How do you think she took it?!" Arizona snapped, unable to fight her anger. "She's devastated! I ruined our marriage, Lauren. I broke her heart and now everything is over!"

Lauren stared at Arizona, dumbfounded. It's obvious that she's unaffected by what she was just told.

"Does that mean you two are done?" Lauren asks. "For good?"

Arizona's eyes widen; she swore she would slap Lauren across the face if she didn't know better.

"Are you freakin' kidding me, Lauren? Did you not hear a word I said?" Arizona is yelling louder than means to, but she can't help it; she's enraged by the audacity of this woman. "Are you seriously going to ask me that right now? Do you really think I'd want to be with you after this? I ruined my marriage tonight. I lost the love of my life because I was too blind to see what I had right in front of me. My wife wants nothing to do with me, Lauren! We have a child!"

Arizona felt tears well in her eyes as a new thought crossed her mind; Sofia. Callie wouldn't take her daughter away, right? Sofia could barely understand why Mark never came home; she can't afford to lose another parent. Arizona squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head. Callie wouldn't do that.

"I know, Arizona," Lauren says, her tone somehow lacking sympathy. "Maybe we could just talk and-"

"Stop talking," Arizona interjects, trying not lose her temper again. "Please, just go."

Lauren frowns, unsure of how to proceed. At this point, it's clear that there's nothing she can say to reason with Arizona. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Lauren gives up.

"Okay. Fine," Lauren agrees, starting towards the door. "I'll leave you alone. I guess I'll see you around."

Arizona relaxes once the door shuts; her shoulders slump forward and she takes a deep breath. Arizona never wants to see Lauren again; she doesn't know how they're going to be able to coexist in the same hospital. Arizona stares ahead, thinking about the consequences that lay ahead; particularly relating to Sofia and what's going to happen custody-wise. It makes her feel sick all over again.

The clock reads five-thirty in the morning. Arizona stares at the wastebasket across the room, knowing what's about to happen. It's like clockwork; she's been sick almost every morning around this time.

Arizona hurries over to the wastebasket and immediately empties her stomach. It's not much because she hasn't eaten in several hours, but she feels a little bit better after the first round. Arizona wipes her mouth and rests her hand on her stomach. She hasn't had much time to think about it, but there's something inside of her that has the potential to change everything.

Arizona pats her stomach gently.

"It's just you and me, baby."