After the Storm

Chapter 13: A Choice

[Callie's POV]

When I woke up, the light from the bathroom peered underneath the door and I could hear a muted gag coming from within.

I rubbed my eyes and slid out of bed, following the noises of discomfort. I pressed my ear against the door and listened for a few moments before knocking softly.

"Arizona?" I asked. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Arizona gasped, followed by another gag. "Don't come in here."

The door wasn't locked and I couldn't help but let myself in anyway. I wanted to comfort her. Just as I suspected, Arizona kneeled before the toilet with her head in her hands.

I smiled to myself, remembering just how rough the first trimester could be. When I was pregnant with Sofia, my morning sickness was unbearable. Involuntarily, I reached out and started rubbing her back in slow circles. The gesture caught us both off guard and she looked up at me, her eyes watery.

I knew that this was unwarranted, but staying away from her and avoiding intimacy wasn't easy. I couldn't look at her without falling in love all over again. And now, in one of her most vulnerable states, I couldn't fight my urges to comfort her.

I wanted to be mad at her. I wanted to remember my feelings of hurt and betrayal and walk away; we were supposed to be treating each other like mere roommates, but I should've known I'd never be able to look at her that way. I loved her. I never wanted to let her go again.

I had to understand that we weren't completely in the clear. She's pregnant with our children and we're living under the same roof again, but what's to stop her from going back to Lauren? What's to stop her from getting bored again?

I shook my head. I loved her and I always would. I was right for having qualms, but I had to believe that maybe she felt the same way and truly wanted to fix things. I had to believe that maybe there was something good left.

What happened between her and Lauren Boswell was just sex. It was meaningless, unemotional sex and from what I knew, Arizona hadn't had contact with her since. Arizona was hurting and she made a mistake. I've made a million.

It wasn't like me to forgive so easily and it went against everything I'd been taught, but I missed her so badly. I didn't have the strength to pretend like I hated her. I wondered if I'd be so quick to forgive her if she hadn't gotten pregnant, but nevertheless, I had a decision to make.

I could forgive her, move on, and allow everything from here on out to be normal. I could try to heal myself and our relationship and give our children the life they deserve. But if I forgave her and tried to forget, I was running the risk of being hurt again. I didn't want to put too much trust into her.

The first choice, of course, was ideal. But I was afraid  and I wasn't quite sure I could learn to trust again so soon.