Riverdale : Our Town - Season 1 (English version)

Chapter 17 (Betty) -"I'm not ready to let go"

During lunch break, Kevin and I are joined by Veronica. I thought that she would have already forgotten our exchange this morning, but I guess I was completely wrong.

"So tell me Kevin, have you recovered from finding Jason's corpse at Sweetwater River ?", asks the new girl.

We are walking on the freshly mown grass in the highschool playground, looking for a free table to eat at. I follow Kevin and Veronica from a distance, happy to let them do the talking. I'm usually not really comfortable being the center of attention.

"Honestly, it was more traumatizing having to explain to my dad what I was doing with Moose in the the middle of the night...", exclaims Kevin, giggling.

"Oh I see... things are getting pretty intense between you two, right ?", enquires the brunette, curious as ever. "Do you know what he wants ?"

"Don't tell me about it, I think he doesn't even know himself !", responds my friend, rolling his eyes. "In fact, Moose has an official girlfriend, Midge", he explains. "Anyway, it's terrible to say but a part of me wishes he would just keep his homosexuality hidden in the darn closet... and obviously, there wasn't any allusion."

As Kevin says those words, we reach Archie, who is sitting with his guitar on his knees at a picnic table. When he hears us arriving, he looks up at me, and then at Veronica. I can't help but notice the embarrassment of the situation.

"Archie !", Veronica salutes him, and sits awkwardly at the table. "Any new song you wanna try out on a very forgiving audience ?", she says to lighten the mood.

The redhead gives me a sidelong glance, and seems to hesitate. He already knows how much I like his music, so why is he nervous to sing in front of us ?

"Please ?", whispers the brunette, with a strong glance in my direction.

"Would you ?", I say gently, sitting in front of Archie. "I'd love to hear it !", I assure with a bright smile.

"Okay.", he concedes. "I'm still working on the lyrics, though... Here we go..."

He lets out a deep sigh, and focuses on his guitar strings. Archie begins to unfold the melody, whispering some timid verses. He gives me another furtive look, as if to get my approval, and then closes his eyes, clearing his voice.

Come on, turn the radio on...

And honey we'll dance, dance, dance...

For the rest of the night...

I'm not ready to let go...

I don't know at which point the tears have started to well up in my eyes, but I can't manage to stop them. There is something in his silvery voice that turns me on. And those lyrics, it feels like they are written for me... for us. His song recreates our dance at the homecoming. I can't help but remembering what I felt at this moment, but also what came after. I am still heartbroken. And seeing him here, in front of me... Everything comes back to me in full face.

"Betty ? Are you okay ?", Archie asks, worrying.

I keep my head down for a moment, in order to hide my heartache. I dare not look anyone in the eye, too afraid to break down in front of them.

"I'm supposed to say yes.", I finally answer, with a sad smile. "That's what the nice girl always says but... No, I'm not.", I whimper, before standing up. "I want to be... I thought I could be, but it's too much too fast, Archie..."

I shrug my shoulders, trembling, and I give him one last tear-eye look, before running away.

"Betty, wait !", Archie screams, catching up to me.

I continue on my way, not sure of what I'm doing but determined to get away from him and all this chaos. I just want to leave this weekend far behind me.

"Come on, listen to me...", he begs, grabbing my arm.

"No !", I cry, pushing him away, with both hands on his chest. "No, Archie... When I think of where I feel safest and most myself, I think of us, in a booth at Pop's !"

"Me too !", he exclaims, afflicted.

"But that's not true anymore.", I cut him, shaking my head, desolately. "I thought I could pretend this weekend didn't happen, but... I can't give you the answer you want. That's what you said to me, and that's how I feel right now, I'm sorry.", I confess, before stepping away from him, overwhelmed.

I hear him calling me, but I continue to walk away, without turning around. I need air. I need some air. I need to get some distance. No matter where I go, as long as I'm far from Archie Andrews.