Anonymous Secrets [completed]

☆ Part 5 ☆

~ Never judge before you have seen both sides of the moon ~

This will be a short chapter, so don't be too happy! It can still take me ages to write another chapter :)) Jepp, it's Charles pov! Let's say that it's to get his side of the story a bit better.  Except for that, I guess that I owed you something because of the 'cliffhanger' at the end of the last part. Hopefully you'll enjoy it!! xx

~ Charles Leclerc ~

Camille was standing there, in the middle of the room, next to the table. She was just standing and stared at me. I looked at her hands. In one hand she was holding her own phone, but in her other hand she held mine. Her eyes were filled with tears, don't ask me why, and I couldn't do anything. I had no idea what to do so I just stared at her hands. The chats that were opened on the phones told us a story that we both couldn't believe. But it was true… "Charles…" Camille whispered and it sounded like she found it very hard to say something. I regret that I went downstairs to pick my phone, I regret that I told Pierre to just stay upstairs. "So umm… Do I have to say Jewel?" I heard myself saying and I hated myself because of it. Why did I always have to pretend to be the asshole in front of her? I knew the answer, of course I knew. I cared too much about her.

When we first got in touch we were both 9 years old. It was at a karting track where Pierre and I competed first the first time together. She was one of the only girls there and I immediately liked her. The glow that her brown hair got in the sunlight, her smile, her eyes, her personality and her sense of humor. Everything about her was amazing and beautiful, but the problem is that that's still the truth… After that first day we saw each other more and more, our families grew really close, because Pierre and I kept competing together and became friends. I loved it to see Camille's support towards her brother. She always stayed by his side while others already got tired of it. We got really close as kids, but when we were 16 something changed. I don't know why, but our bond got ruined. Camille started taking distance from me and to protect myself I started acting rude and ignored her. I was just too scared to lose her… Since we were 16 we have never been so close again. I always act like I'm fine with it and like it's what I want, but in fact it hurts me a lot. No one knows this, but I'm still in love with her. Since we were 9 I have never looked at any other girl than Camille. I am in love with her while I treat her badly and while we are like family.

I could have known that Camille was Jewel. I know that girl better than she thinks I do. The way she talked to me online, the words she used, our arguments… Everything was so Camille! But I didn't know it and I fell in love with her. That had confused me a lot because I couldn't stop thinking of Camille. I thought that I could never 'get' here and I really really liked Jewel. Or Camille…

"Please, don't do this Charles." Camille said, she found her voice back. "We don't have to make it worse than it already is." Her words hit me, but of course I didn't show her. Did she mean that it was bad that I turned out as being Marc? "We don't have to, indeed." I answered. She handed over my phone to me and I didn't look at her, too scared to fall deeply into her beautiful eyes. "I think it's better to quit our online contact." I said and I tried my best to hide the emotion in my voice. She didn't have to know how hard I found it to say this. Because if she knows I have to explain a lot, way too much. I looked up at her and her eyes widened when she got what I said. "So you mean that you just want to throw all this away? You just told me that you care about me, that you fell in love with me…" Her voice faded away at the end of her sentence and I couldn't look any longer into her broken eyes. Did she really care about me? Even now she knows that I'm not Marc, but Charles?

"It's too complicated between us." I hated myself so much. Why couldn't I just open up to her? I'm in love with her, that's a fact, and yes I want her every second of the day as close as possible to me. Now I have the change for that and I ruined it… I wanted to turn around and walk away, but I changed my mind. There was something I wanted to know. "Can I ask you something?" I asked her with a small voice. She nodded at me and I was wondering why she was still so kind to me. She is such an amazing person. "Sure, go ahead."
"Why did you call yourself Jewel online?"
"Because I didn't want people to know who I am."
"But why Jewel?" I asked her again. Camille looked down at her feets and bit her lips. I knew that she didn't know how to tell me where the name came from, but she looked cute. "Your father…" She started hesitantly. I didn't expect that I would have anything to do with my dad. "He once called me Jewel. He was important to me too, as you know, and it meant a lot to me that he called me like that." She said and looked up at me. In both our eyes were burning tears. Her parents are amazing, they are a bit like mine and my brothers too, but my father was also a bit like Pierre's and Camille's. I wanted to hug her so badly, I wanted to apologise for my stupid behaviour and tell her the real truth. "Camille…"
"Charles! You done?" Pierre shouted from upstairs. "Yeah, on my way." I shouted back. Maybe Camille and I weren't meant for each other, maybe it's better like this. "I have to go." I said to her. I turned around and walked away. Before I left the room I turned around once again. "Let's keep this between us. Pierre don't have to know anything about it." The way she looked at me I'll probably never forget. She looked at me with disbelief, a little bit of disgusted, but above all she looked hurt... I left her broken while I was fighting against my own tears.