FORBIDDEN (#1)

Chapter 33

The rest of the night was relaxing. I stayed up on the top of the yacht with Roman and we sat on the comfy bench in front of the other chairs. The bench was able to lean back, so that was how we sat on it. We watched the sky fully darken together and when a good bit of time passed with just silence between us, Roman spoke first.

            "I'm so tired," he muttered under his breath, and at first, I didn't understand what he was saying.

            "What was that?" I asked, leaning in to hear him better. He didn't respond right away but instead scooted closer to me until our thighs were touching and then he did the unexpected. He laid his head on my chest. I froze at the action and waited for him to say it was an accident or something, but he didn't move. I untucked my arm from my side and rest it over his shoulders, placing my hand on his head.

            "I'm so tired," he finally repeated himself, his voice a little muffled, but I was still able to hear him clearly.

            "We can go back to the hotel now if you would like. I can tell the captain." I made a move to get up, but he shook his head.

            "Not sleepy. Just tired. Tired of the relationship with Lisa, trying to keep up that ruse. I want to get out, but I can't find a way to get out from under my father. That's why I've been having meetings with different people. I want to have enough power on my side so that when I release my father from his position as an investor, I can hold my own when he retaliates." He huffed and closed his eyes. "It's so stressful. I apologize for being a dick. It was the only way for us to not work closely together and raise even more suspicion." He mumbled and I blinked hard, surprised at how he was opening up to me. I slowly weaved my fingers through his hair, thinking about what to say in response to all of that.

            "I'm sorry about your father. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help, okay?" I told him and he nodded, eyes still closed. "Also, there's nothing wrong with us being friends, you know." I tried to turn the conversation to one with a lighter tone. He chuckled, the sound vibrating through my chest.

            "You know damn well we can't just be friends."

            I didn't respond to that, but I agreed with him in my head. The attraction between us was undeniable and even if we did actually end up sleeping together, that attraction would probably only grow. But I wanted him in my life, so we would have to try. That was another conversation for another time though. There was something else I wanted to talk with him about.

            "Would you like to tell me what you were doing in your new club that was illegal?" I changed the subject, and he froze at my question. I froze my hand in his hair as well, waiting for him to relax. He did right after, and I resumed.

            "I never said it was illegal." He responded and I could hear the humor in his tone. I rolled my eyes. Semantics.

            "You never answered or corrected me either, so which is it? Illegal, or not?" I pressed him and he sighed, rising from my chest to stare at me. His hair was matted on one side, so I reached out and brushed it with my fingers. He leaned into my hand and my breath hitched at the action, noting how intimate it was. I wasn't sure if it was the darkness with the boat lights that was making this moment feel like it was only us two in the world, or just my brain working overtime to make me feel like it, but that was how I was feeling in the moment. I didn't like that. I didn't want to feel that. I wasn't ready for anything more. I quickly dropped my hand and glanced to the side, not wanting to make eye contact with him anymore.

            "I can't tell you that right now. Maybe another time." Roman finally answered my question and I nodded, looking at my hands in my lap. That was fair. "Are you ready to go back now? We do have an early morning ahead of us."

            I finally looked up at Roman again to see that his expression was guarded, as if he was thinking about how open he was with me, realized he probably said too much. Did I make him feel that way from how I was acting right now? Though I wanted to ignore what I was feeling for him, I didn't want him to feel as if he couldn't trust me.

            "I am. I love my beauty rest." I gave him a smile, which he returned, but it didn't reach his eyes. He nodded and got up, stretching. I got up right after him and followed as he went to the captain to inform him to take us back to the hotel. We stood on the main deck afterward by a railing, looking at the dark water. The wind was blowing softly, making our hair fly everywhere, but it was a soothing feeling. Blissful. Peaceful. I wish I could stay in this moment forever. Roman still seemed off to me and I wanted to make sure it wasn't my fault.

            "Hey," I tapped his shoulder and he stood up straight, looking at me. I closed the space between us and hugged him, laying my head on his chest. "Thank you for opening up to me. I know it took a lot for you to do that and I don't want you to feel like I don't appreciate that. I do. If you ever need to rant to anyone again, I'm always here. No matter what, okay?" I lifted my head from his chest and looked him in the eyes so he could see I was being sincere. A small smile grew on his face, and he nodded at me. He leaned down a little bit and I stretched on my toes, pressing my lips to his. The kiss wasn't long or passionate. It wasn't like the other times where we locked lips and could feel the emotions passing through each other. It was more of acceptance for what we would have to be because of our situation. An understanding. When we both pulled back, I went back to hugging him and his arms stayed wrapped around me as well. We stayed in this position until we docked, and we took our time walking back to the hotel, my arm hooked through his.

***

We stayed in New York for an entire week. The last three days we were there he had no meetings, so instead of leaving, he suggested we explore. I was ecstatic and he asked me what I wanted to do, and I told him any type of museum. I loved all history, I told him that as well, and he surprised me with museums all day for one of the three days. It was amazing and I thanked him over and over for the day. The day after, I told him I wanted to go places that he liked all day, so he took me to the countryside of New York, places even some natives wouldn't know about. He loved the greenery and solidarity it brought. He took me to a ranch with horses and told me that he grew up with them but hadn't had time to really see them anymore or appreciate their existence. I watched him ride a black horse at the ranch and seeing him truly happy as he pressed his face against the beautiful stallion, made my heart swell. This was a side to him that no one else got to see, and I was seeing it firsthand. On the last day, we went on the yacht again and just relaxed. We watched the sunset and even spend the night on it. It was a great way to end the trip. I didn't want to go back home to reality after this trip, but it was inevitable. We flew back home the next day and when he dropped me off at my place, he told me that he would call me later. I asked why, and he said no reason, he just wanted to hear my voice. I tried not to think much about it and instead unpacked and prepared myself for a hectic workday tomorrow.