Pain - A TommyInnit Angst

Chapter 19

The next few days went by painfully slowly for Wilbur. His anxiety was at an all-time high to the point that he could barely force himself to eat. He spent the first day after Tommy's attempt sitting on the end of his bed, his curtains closed, the room dark, staring at the floor. The next day, he tried to be more productive, so he went into Tommy's room and meticulously went through everything, ensuring that the room was completely safe and that, when Tommy eventually returned, he wouldn't be able to hurt himself. He found a handful of blood-stained blades that the boy had hidden in various places, and flushed them all down the loo. After completely searching Tommy's room, Wilbur went around the rest of the house. He removed his own razors from his bathroom and locked them in a mini safe he had in his wardrobe; he went online and ordered another safe to put in the kitchen in which he could keep all the sharp kitchen utensils.

Finally, after a long day of sorting through the house, Wilbur felt much calmer; he had been terrified that Tommy would just attempt again when he returned, but he now felt much safer.

Wilbur spent the third day talking to Tubbo and Ranboo and telling them what had happened. As expected, both of them were shocked and felt the guilt that Wilbur had initially felt. However, he had felt that it was important to tell them what had happened because they were Tommy's closest friends.

The fourth day arrived. The doctors had called Wilbur the night before confirming that they were going to bring Tommy out of the coma that day, so he anxiously drove to the hospital, bringing a bag of clothes and supplies for the boy when he woke up.

• • •

'Toms?'

Tommy's eyes slowly fluttered open and a look of confusion spread over his face. He was obligated to stay silent for the next few minutes as the doctors removed his oxygen mask, before he began to quietly ask questions.

'W-what happened?' He asked.

'Tommy... you- you attempted...'

'Oh.'

Tommy looked down at his bandaged wrists and closed his eyes.

'Why couldn't you just have let me go?' He muttered.

Wilbur didn't know how to respond, so he stood frozen, tears silently trickling down his face as he looked at the broken blonde boy in the hospital bed.

'You could've just let me fucking die.'

'Of course I couldn't have done that, don't be fucking ridiculous Tommy.'

Tommy stayed silent, eyes still closed, so Wilbur continued.

'I need you to stay, Tommy. Please, if you're not going to do it for yourself, do it for me. I can't lose you, I can't fucking handle it.'

Tommy opened his eyes slightly and looked at Wilbur, his eyes filled with tears.

'I can't fucking handle living, Wil.'

• • •

'I'm not going into fucking residential care. That's just not going to happen.' Tommy insisted.

'Tommy, it's the best thing for you. If you're improving, they'll let you out after a couple of weeks. I'll visit you every day.'

Tommy stayed silent. He was sat up in his bed, an untouched plate of food in front of him.

Wilbur sighed. 'I know you were purging.'

'Why do you care?'

'Why wouldn't I care? Toms, you have to eat that or they're gonna put you on a feeding tube.'