Pain - A TommyInnit Angst

Chapter 35

Tommy felt himself slip into consciousness again.

He was on... a beach?

Yes, a beach.

He could feel the warmth of the sun on his cheeks as he gazed at the rolling waves of the sea. The beach went on for miles and was completely deserted. Nobody could hurt him here. He began to laugh and waded into the sea, feeling the cool sensation of the water around his feet.

'Tommy?'

Wilbur was here?

Tommy tried to reply but just found himself giggling. Why was he so happy? He didn't know and didn't really care.

'Wil, come into the water.' He turned around, but Wilbur wasn't there. Where was he?

'Tommy?'

'Wil, where are you? Look, we can go swimming-'

'I... what?' Wilbur sounded confused.

Tommy just laughed and continued swimming.

He hadn't felt this happy in years.

• • •

Wilbur looked down at Tommy as he laughed almost maniacally.

'The meds should wear off within a couple of hours. They're very strong, but we had to sedate him somehow to keep him safe. He appears to think he's in the sea at the moment.' A doctor informed him. Wilbur nodded and took Tommy's hand in his, stroking it comfortingly. (A/N: Repeat after me: PLATONIC.) He wanted to make the most of seeing the boy happy, even if it was completely artificial. Wilbur knew all too well that once the medication had worn off he would be back to the screaming, terrified wreck that he was before.

So Tommy thought he was by the sea?

Maybe when he was better Wilbur could take him abroad; he'd said that he'd never left the country before. They could actually go swimming, and perhaps then Tommy would be truly happy.

Perhaps.

Wilbur waited for around an hour and a half, and it was at this point that he realised Tommy's happy giggles were turning into sobs and, although he wasn't quite out of the grip of the meds yet, he was on his way back to reality.

Once the meds had fully worn off Tommy was shaking all over, although he was in a comparatively calm state to what he had been in before. Wilbur was murmuring comforting words and still holding Tommy's hand, and he had even convinced the nurses to remove his restraints.

'Tommy?' He whispered softly.

'Uh, y-yeah?'

'So I've been talking to the doctors and they've made a treatment plan to help you get better. You're going to have to stay in a psychiatric place for a little bit, but I promise you'll be okay. They're gonna send you to the same place as before, so you might remember a few people there.'

'P-please... please d-don't send me...'

Wilbur swallowed. 'We have to, Toms. We have to make sure you're safe.'

'B-but I wanna die. Please, just let me d-die.'

'Tommy-'

'P-please.' Tommy had begun ripping at his hair and Wilbur grabbed his hands.

'Toms, you have to stop hurting yourself like this or they'll put you in restraints again.'

Tommy froze, his face crumpling. 'Please don't send me there, Wilbur.'

'It'll be okay. I'll visit you every day, you'll make some friends and you're getting the best treatment with the best specialists.'

'Can you s-stay there with me?' Tommy asked, glassy tears sliding down his face.

'I... I can't, I've already asked.' Wilbur's voice had begun to break with emotion.

'W-what if... what if someone c-comes and takes me again?'

'They won't. It's very secure, I promise. The nurses will be looking out for you.'

Tommy seemed resigned to his fate. He lay back on his bed, still shaking, trying to think of a way out of this. He just wanted to go home so that he could return to that bridge and finish what he had started. He wanted to kick himself for not immediately jumping, for not dying. He couldn't even kill himself properly. Tommy wanted to feel guilty for being so intent on hurting everyone around him, but the pain he felt within himself was so immense that he couldn't feel anything else; all emotions but fear seemed to have been numbed and muted.

• • •

Tommy was lead through the cafeteria. He glanced over at the familiar tables, remembering how he had sat there with Matt before he died. He noticed some patients creating art and recalled stealing that pencil sharpener and slicing his arms open with it.

He had never thought he was going to return, but here he was. Looking around, he saw a few faces that he faintly recognised, but not enough to say that he was 'friends' with any of these people. He was shown to his room and as he sat down on his bed after saying his goodbyes to Wilbur he couldn't help but think to himself that this place was the loneliest he had been in since his parents house.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I was on a trip and didn't have my laptop with me (very sad). Hope you enjoyed the chapter, I'm going to try and do daily chapters for the next week or so, but no promises. Remember to vote!