Purest Corruption - The Darkling [General Kirigan]

• Chapter 18 •

*Song for the beginning of this chapter is favorite crime - olivia rodrigo*

Start it now

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I woke up the following morning and dragged myself out of bed. Training with Botkin was my first thing to do today, and I was not looking forward to it. Luckily though, it was one-on-one since he thought that would be a better way for me to learn.

I decided to skip breakfast because I didn't feel like eating; after my conversation last night with Kirigan, I felt sick to my stomach. Something just didn't sit right with me, but I couldn't place exactly what it was.

I chewed my lip while my feet carried me towards the training grounds. Maybe I should ask Kirigan why he told people about what happened; perhaps he had a reasonable explanation.

I'm not sure what could possibly excuse what he did, but maybe I should give him another chance. I was almost to the training grounds when I bumped into a tall figure. I looked up to apologize, and that's when I saw who it was.

Kirigan.

My mouth opened as if to say something, but no words came out. He looked down at me with concern swimming in his eyes, and I couldn't help but feel weak.

"S-sorry. I should watch where I'm going," I managed to stutter out and begin to move away from him when he grabs my arm to stop me. I shudder at his touch but don't turn around. I know that if I meet his gaze again, I might not be able to leave.

"Ana...please look at me," I've never heard him sound so desperate, and I surely have never heard him say please. I slowly turned, keeping my eyes on the ground until the last possible second, then looked back up at his face.

His brows were furrowed, and he looked exhausted, but I couldn't tell if this was real or not. This could all just be another manipulation tactic to get me back in his grasp. I forced my gaze to harden, and I pushed any emotion I had been feeling down.

He wouldn't get to me.

Not today.

"Leave me alone. You did something that you had no reason to, and it hurt. It hurt me, Kirigan. And you acting like you care isn't going to help me get over what you did." I felt tears prick my eyes, but I wouldn't let him see me cry.

He looked around, noticed someone walking towards us, and pulled me into a dark hallway I hadn't noticed before. Before I could discern what was going on, I was being pushed up against a wall.

"General, what are you doing?" My heart was racing, and I wouldn't say I liked that, but I also wouldn't say I disliked it. The part of my heart that longed for this encounter is one I hated.

My head was buzzing, and he looked down at my lips as he spoke, "Ana, please, I didn't realize-"

"You didn't realize what? That what you did would hurt me more than anyone had before? That you humiliated me? That you made me feel so naive for actually caring about you? Well, it's okay, Kirigan, because now I don't care about you anymore, and I realize that I was just a plaything for you to get your kicks from. The funny thing is that I should have known better. I have known men like you my whole life, and I feel so stupid because I thought you were different," I took a breath before a single tear slipped down my cheek.

Kirigan's hand reached out, and I felt his knuckles wipe away the tear that had fallen. I flinched away from his touch, "Don't. You can't...you can't do that." More tears fell at this point which only caused him to keep wiping them away instead of stopping.

He looked at me with sad eyes, "Why not?"

"I already told you why, Kirigan." I turned my face away from his so that the fingers which had once been on my cheek dropped down.